给母亲的微情书

作者:鲁凯仞人气:2618更新:2021-07-20 18:00:17

喜爱码字儿的我 ,这许多年,竟从未给您写下过一篇文章 。总是自责,却连自己都觉不解。

    是慢慢慢慢才明白 ,不是爱得不深,不是念得不浓。只是因为,与您的这份母女深情已经自然到如空气和水 。

 


    今天母亲节。QQ上看到一句话:母亲 ,是这辈子最好的朋友。

    微微的哽咽 。

    妈妈 ,您一定知道,我这辈子最大的遗憾,就是从未和别的女儿一样亲昵的和您撒娇 ,恣意的享受您的拥抱或者呵斥 。您对我是和蔼的,我对您是礼貌的。您从不对我发怒,我也从不对您说过哪怕有一点点过分的话。

    可是妈妈 ,您可知道,已经为人母的我,有多不好意思又有多想 ,有一天,能轻轻地牵起您的手 。轻轻地,轻轻地享受您的一个拥抱。

 


    知道您从小受了很多苦。姐弟七人 ,您排第二,姨们说,在那个贫苦的家庭里 ,在我脾气暴躁的姥爷的打骂下 ,您从小就比别人更加倔强而坚忍 。

    嫁给父亲,您几乎具备了所有家庭妇女应具备的美德。父亲主外,您主内 ,惯得父亲直至现在依然什么家务都不会。您待奶奶胜过亲生女儿,在那个婆尊媳卑的年代,不管受多少委屈 ,您在我们姐弟三人面前,从没说过奶奶一个不字,奶奶至死 ,都念您是世界上最好的人 。叔叔到现在还觉骄傲:都上高中了,跑回院子看到嫂子在洗衣服,脱了身上的衣服就扔给嫂子 ,在心里,嫂子就是又一个妈妈。姑姑出嫁,奶奶没有哭 ,您却伤心了好几年 ,您说:我进门儿的时候,你姑刚有炕沿那么高……

    至今,我依然恨我的舅舅 ,他的一巴掌,打出了您久治不愈的心脏病。可是您不恨,您说 ,那病,跟他没关系 。很想知道现在偶尔遇到他,那依然冷漠的眼神会有多让您心伤?可我知道 ,您不恨,不怪。

    妈妈,我的善良的妈妈!

 


    第一次被爱触动 ,是在我读师范的时候。有一个周末回家,和您同在一盏灯下,我读书 ,您做针线 。一抬头 ,忽然见到灯下,您慈爱却沧桑的容颜!

    那是我第一次认真的看你 。

    您在专注的做活儿,没看到女儿同样专注的 、痴呆呆看您的目光。

    更没看到 ,女儿那一刻眼中泛出的泪花……

 

 

 


    除了您,谁都不会知道,在别人心中乖巧的女儿 ,其实也有不乖巧的一面。过了我最叛逆的年龄后,曾听到您和别人谈话中的一声叹息:养女儿,其实比儿子要费心多了 。

    您知道吗 ,那声叹息一直在我的心里,横亘着,嗜咬我的神经。

    妈妈 ,您还记得那个漆黑的夜,车海中嚎哭的我,和在我身后追赶着哀求着的您吗?那次痛痛彻心骨 ,不是为我 ,是为了因我而交瘁的您。

    那个脆弱的、不珍视生命的我从那以后彻底改变 。

    因为我知道,为了妈妈,也要好好的活!

    妈妈 ,多年以后,让我再次含着眼泪,偷偷的说上一句:谢谢您 ,给了我生命、又挽救了我的生命的妈妈!

 

 


    您不识字,小弟小时候,经常一边学习一边埋怨您:都怨您不是非农业 ,要不,我就不用学习了。您似乎吃得了所有的苦,种地 、鞋厂打工、粘花、跟父亲一起做绢花生产然后到北京石家庄等各地批发。记得在北京天意干批发那年 ,四十多岁却过度疲惫的您就被称为“大娘”了 。其实我知道您有多爱美,也见过您年轻时的照片,知道您曾经有多漂亮。乌黑的辫子 ,大大的眼睛。妈妈 ,岁月怎舍得让您老去?

    您宠我们,不与我们过分亲昵,却从不舍得打我们一下 。我们不喜欢您玩牌 ,您就戒了玩纸牌这唯一的消遣(您会怪我们小时候不懂事吗)。您和爸爸辛苦在北京打拼,舍不得乱花一分钱,我去了 ,却奢侈的花200元给我买了个真皮包。我花钱大手大脚,您总会担心地唠叨,可只要一阵子看不到我穿新衣服 ,就又会心疼我舍不得给自己花钱 。我买房筹不到钱那阵子,您唯一一次对弟弟不满,一边哭 ,一边心疼着数唠着我为这个家所受的委屈……

 

 

 


    我知道,您心里对女儿是有愧疚的 。您和父亲一直觉得,我是为这个家牺牲了自己上大学的机会。您知道大学是我心里多疼的一个结。可是妈妈 ,您比我更懂 ,作为长女,作为姐姐,我肩上理应担起的责任 。

    妈妈 ,也该感谢命运吧,失去了大学,却得到了那么多和您在一起的机会。和您一起拉犁种田 ,和您一起割那似乎永远割不完的麦子,和您一起粘花到腰疼难忍,和您一起在冬日的寒风呼啸中浆布发花 ,和您一起骑着自行车带着那许多箱子去托运站托运绢花,和您一起跑北京跑石家庄的批发市场,和您一起开了六年的饭店做了六年的服务员……

    然后 ,和您一起,守着家乡的土地,慢慢变老……

 

    妈妈 ,我最担心的 ,是您的身体。姨们说,那年从北京回来,路上您就犯病了 ,却固执的不肯打电话给居住在北京的弟弟 。姨们后来告诉我:那次,我们差点就看不到您了。妈妈,您可知道我的恐惧?

    那次在我家 ,您突然发病。叫来救护车,很多人帮忙把您送进医院 。后来您说:幸亏是在家里,幸亏不是在天津 ,或者北京……我不敢哭。我知道,几乎长期在市区居住的您,有多想家 ,想真正属于您的家。

    妈妈,为了我们,您要好好的爱自己 。好好的 ,陪我们一路走下去 ,直到我们也满头白发,直到我们也步履蹒跚。

    那时候,我会大大方方的拉起您的手 ,大大方方的抚摸您的头,肆无忌惮的和您开玩笑。

    然后抬起头,一起看天边的夕阳……

 

英译版本:

I love the code word, many years, I have never written an article for you. Always blame, but even you don't understand.

It is slowly to understand, not love, not to read it. Just because, with your mother and daughter, you have naturally like air and water.

Today Mother's Day. Seeing a sentence on QQ: Mother is the best friend in this life.


slightly swallowed.

Mom, you must know that my biggest regret in my life is that I have never been as close to other daughters, and enjoy your hug or sweep. You are kind to me, I am polite to you. You never angry for me, I never say something to you.

But mom, you know, I have already been a mother, I am so embarrassed, there is more thinking, one day, I can take your hand gently. Gently enjoy your hugs gently.

I know that you have suffered a lot from small. Sister brother seven, you are ranked second, 姨, in the poor family, under the smashing of my temper, you are more reluctant to others from others.

Marrying your father, you have almost all of the virtues that all family women should have. The father is the side, in your main, I'm used to my father until there is still a family member. You have wins the friendly daughter, in the age of the woman, no matter how much grievances, you have never said that our grandmother is unconscious, grandmother is dead, read you is the world. Best people. Uncle is now proud: Both high school, run back to the yard to see the scorpion in the washing clothes, throw it to the nephew, in the heart, the nephew is another mother. My grandmother is married, my grandmother is not crying, you have been sad for several years, you said: When I entered the door, you just have the edge of the edge ...


So far, I still hate me, his A slap, I have a heart disease that you can't get rid of you. But you don't hate it, you said, that disease, it doesn't matter. I really want to know occasionally.When you encounter him, how many indifferent eyes will make you feel sad? But I know, you don't hate, don't blame.

Mom, my kind mom!

The first time I was touched, it was when I read a teacher. Have a weekend, with you under a lamp, I read, you do needle. One looks up, suddenly see the lamp, your loving love is the face of vicissitudes!

That is my first time you look at you seriously.

You have made lives in focus, didn't see the daughter as well-focused, dementia to see your gaze.


Didn't see, my daughter's tears in my eyes ...

In addition to you No one will know that the daughter in the hearts of others is actually unhappy. After the older's age, I have heard a sigh in your talk: raising a daughter, in fact, more expensive than his son.

Do you know, the sigh has been in my heart, leaning on my nerve.

Mom, you still remember the dark night, the car is crying, and is you chasing you behind me? The pain is reluctant, not for me, is for me to pay for me.

The fragile, I didn't cherish my life, I changed it thoroughly.

Because I know, for my mother, I have to live well!


Mom, after many years, let me include tears, secretly say the last sentence: Thank you, give me life, saved my life mother!

You do not know, you will be buddy, you will complain about you often, you don't have to learn. . You seem to have all the hardships, farms, shoes, work, sticky flowers, doing your fatherFlower production and then to Beijing Shijiazhuang and other places. I remember that in Beijing Tianyi wholesale, you are more than 40 years old, but you are called "big mother". In fact, I know that you have more love, and I have seen photos of your young, knowing that you have been more beautiful. Black scorpion, big eyes. Mom, how can you let you go?

You pet us, don't have a relative with us, but never got to beat us. We don't like you to play, you will ring the only pastime to play cards (you will blame us when you are young). You and Dad have worked hard in Beijing, and I can't get rid of a penny. I went, but the extravagant flower is 200 yuan to buy a leather bag. I spend the money big hands, you will always worry, but as long as I can't see my new clothes, I will have to spend money. I can't buy money. The only thing is dissatisfied with your younger brother, while crying, I have a grief, I have a wrony, I have been wrothing for this home ...

I know that your daughter is embarrassed. You and your father have always feel that I sacrifice this home to the opportunity to go to college. You know that college is a more pain in my heart. But my mother, you know more than me, as a long woman, as a sister, I should take responsibility.

Mom, I would like to thank the fate, lost the university, but I got so much opportunity to be with you. Take you with you, cut the wheat that you can't cut with you, and you can stick to your back pain with you, and you will be in the cold wind of the winter day, ride together with you. Bicycle with many boxes to consign the silk flowers, and ran around Beijing Run Shijiazhuang's wholesale market, and I have been working together for six years of service ...

Then, and you Together, keep the land of the hometown, slowly become old ...

Mom, I am most worried, it is your body. Nursing said that the year came back from Beijing that year, you will be sick, but it is stubbornly refused to call the brother who lives in Beijing. Nans later told me: That time, we can't see you. Mom, you canKnow my fear?

That time, you suddenly onset. Calling ambulance, many people help send you into the hospital. Later, you said: Fortunately, at home, fortunately, it is not in Tianjin, or Beijing ... I dare not cry. I know that you have lived almost in the urban area, there are more people who want to be home, want to really belong to your home.

Mom, for us, you have to love yourself. Ok, take us all the way, until we are full of white hair until we are falling.

At that time, I would greatly pulled up your hand, and the big square strokes your head, and I jokes with you.


Then raise the head, look at the sunset of the horizon ...

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