曾是年年花知处

作者:欧阳雅潇人气:469更新:2021-07-13 16:00:12

  又是一年岁末 。窗外的积雪还未融化,坐在零下七度的空气里 ,浑身冰凉 ,却可以让自己格外的清醒 。每年这时候,都会习惯的梳理下这一年,放大自己的痛苦 ,也看清自己的成长。
2012,是个奇妙的一年,一半高专 ,一半南广,一半热恋,一半失恋 ,一半长发,一半短发,一半幼稚 ,一半成熟,一半疯狂,一半寂寞。

    过完春节 ,被家人关进了医院 ,上了手术台 。住院那段日子哭的稀里哗啦惨绝人寰, 其实不仅是因为疼痛,我更是想把自己伪装成还在吃奶的孩子 ,可以肆无忌惮的在爸妈面前撒娇。那些天,我仿佛回到了小时候,那个我没有记忆的时候 ,我看见爸妈对我的呵护和宠爱,二十年,从未变过。
     三月和四月 ,是非常纠结徘徊的 。早晨大家都在睡懒觉的时候我却要和自己做斗争。我不停的告诉自己早晨叫醒我的不是闹钟而是梦想。每个周末的早晨,睡眼朦胧的我骑着车去楼下买鸡蛋饼,然后八点准时出现在江科大的教室 。其实我和晓霞每次只能坚持到上午 ,下午基本就溜去江边晒太阳了。我还记得考试那天,忽然的降温,冻得措手不及。走出考场时 ,却遇见了太阳 。
    五月初 ,去了趟苏州投奔钢盔。清晨我们去了平江路,偶遇了猫的天空之城,我把来苏州的车票留在了那里。 五月末 ,和晓霞又一起走了次西塘,这个飘着小雨的江南水乡,让我醉了一场 。
    当我收到录取通知书时 ,心情很平静,甚至有点失落 。我知道,我要离开这里了。六月初 ,我剪短了好不容易留长的发, 因为你说,你喜欢我短发的样子。
    离开镇江的时候我哭了好久 。没有人知道我有多爱这个小地方 ,多爱这个城市里的某个人。七月初,爸爸妈妈来接我,把所有行李搬到车上后 ,我望了一眼我的小屋 ,还有楼下的那只胖猫,默默的跟他们说再见。其实,泪 ,早已在我心里,流成河 。
    有人说,爱上一座城 ,是因为城中住着某个喜欢的人。其实不然,爱上一座城,也许是为城里的一道生动风景 ,为一段青梅往事,为一座熟悉老宅。或许,仅仅为的只是这座城 。就像爱上一个人 ,有时候不需要任何理由,没有前因,无关风月 ,只是爱了。
    七月 ,厦门。我在鼓浪屿迷了路,把心情丢在了南华路的那间咖啡屋 。其实和二逼闺蜜一起旅行,心情不好也难。
    八月 ,青岛。我把这次旅行称为“追逐浪花的少年” 。 七夕那天,我在石老人海滩,写下了你的名字 。
    其实无论走到哪座城市 ,我都会习惯的找家咖啡馆,把心情写在那里,做个梦。
    九月开学季 ,南广的生活让我喜爱。走在这个红瓦绿草的校园,心情是美丽的 。我有两个很好的舍友,一个是我老婆 ,一个是我女儿。我们是相亲相爱的一家人,却依旧觉得孤单。时常想起镇江,想起你 ,你们 ,会经常的在夜里拼命的流泪 。
    失眠,是枕头上无尽的流浪。
    整个十月,我在写一本我的旅行自传《一个人私奔》 ,写书的日子,咖啡,音乐和烟 ,很多时候回忆到和你一起走过的城市时,会欲言又止,会眼眶湿润。
    我知道我是个感性的人 ,但我没想到我的脆弱会这么不堪一击 。十一月的某一天,我去见了刘若英,这个对爱情执着到无法想象的女子。我大声的和她一起唱“后来 ,我总算学会了如何去爱 可惜你早已远去 消失在人海 ”。好像她在唱给我听,唱着一段不完美的爱情 。
    当你摸着我的头说“要勇敢,要坚强 ,要快乐的活下去喔! ”我知道 你要离开了。。 。
    末日 ,终究没有来 。但是就在那个月的某一天某一时某一秒,我忽然觉得,我成熟了。想过无数次的独立 ,可真的独立的时候,却有种莫名的失落感。每天站八个小时,重复无数次同样的话 。这样的工作曾经是我鄙夷的 ,我让自己努力的尝试努力的突破,有些事情你不去做,你永远不知道你能不能做到。尽管很累 ,但至少觉得我可以为父母分担了,我长大了。
    在我的成长过程中会遇到很多的波折,我庆幸身边有我的家人我的老师我的朋友给予我很多的支持 ,他们教会我思考,帮助我独立 。人都在不断的成长和适应,我会做的更好。

    后来 ,来过镇江无数次。我终究无法丢下那座城 ,丢下那里所有我在乎的人 。只是每次去,都有一种物是人非的感觉。有一天我一个人坐在江边,看远处飘忽的芦苇 ,恍惚你还在我旁边。我回头,发现什么也没有,只有一缕烟在飘散飘散 。原来 ,誓言这东西,时间不做尺。
    有时候伤害也是一种成熟,经历一些看起来比较糟糕的事 ,或者大风大浪啥的是好事,因为这些经历是放大镜,让你看清楚周围 ,哪些是真朋友,哪些是真小人。你的生活中就会多了一些你坚定的要保护和爱的朋友,同时也多了一些陌生人 。

    2012不得不说到江苏舜天 ,我记得主场打恒大接近七万人的奥体 ,我记得庆功宴上我们大喊着“亚冠我们来了”时的眼含热泪,是的,江苏足球从未这么爽 ,我庆幸我是见证舜天一路走来的一份子,谢谢舜天给我力量,来年 ,九区的兄弟们,我们并肩作战 。蓝色,我的梦想 ,蓝色,我的信仰。
    2012不能不提到你,我的张可宝。我也记不得什么时候起 ,我的世界多了一个你 。宝贝,你总会在我不开心的时候带给我欢笑,你总是爱粘着我要我抱抱 ,很多时候抱的再累胳膊再酸也不忍心把你放下。我的心肝宝贝儿 ,我要你健康快乐的成长。
    2012,迷恋插花和爵士,喜欢泡在安静的咖啡馆里 ,喜欢读刘若英的文字,喜欢听Damien rice的歌 。于是很多人对我说:文青你好。不过我给自己的定义是:文艺 女流氓。

    写这篇总结前,总觉得2012过的无比的糟糕 。但是写到这里 ,心情仍然很平静。
    此时此刻的我,只是站在了十字街头,四面没有色彩 ,但隐约发着不同的光。
    不管我们的决定是什么,我们都彼此祝福 。

    再见,赋予我成长的2012。

英译版本:

It is another year old. The snow outside the window has not yet melted, sitting in the zero seven degrees of air, cold, but you can make yourself alert. Every year, I will get used to combating this year, and I am a big pain, and I also see my growth.
2012, is a wonderful year, half of the high school, half of the South Guang, half of love, half of love, half long hair, half a short hair, half naive, half mature, half mad, half of life, half of life, half lonely.

After the Spring Festival, the family was closed by the family, and the operating table was on. The sorrowful people crying at the end of the hospital, in fact, not only because of pain, I want to put myself into a child who is still eating milk, can be unscrupulous in front of my parents. Those days, I seem to have returned to my childhood, when I didn't remember, I saw my parents to care and petting my care, twenty years, never changed.
March and April are very entangled. In the morning, I have to fight with myself when I sleep late. I keep telling you that morning calling me is not alarm clock but dreams. Every weekend morning, I went to the car to buy the egg cake and then appeared in the classroom of Jiangke. In fact, I and Xiaoxia can only stick to the morning each time, I will basically sneak the sun in the afternoon. I still remember the day of the exam, suddenly cooling, frozen. When I came out of the examination room, I met the sun.
In early May, I went to Suzhou to go to the helmet. In the morning, we went to Pingjiang Road, and I met the city of the cat, I left the ticket to Suzhou in there. At the end of May, I walked together with Xiaoxia and Xitang, this Jiangnan Waterway, which drifted with light rain, made me drunk.
When I received an admission notice, the mood was very calm and even a bit lost. I know, I have to leave here. At the beginning of June, I cut it short, I finally stayed, because you said, you like my short hair.
When I left Zhenjiang, I cried for a long time. No one knows that I love this small place, love someone in this city. In the beginning of July, Mom and Dad came to pick me up. After moving all the luggage to the car, I looked at my hut, and the fat cat down downstairs, silently said to them again. In fact, tears have long been in my heart, flowing into the river.
Some people say that in love with a city, it isBecause there is a favorite person in the city. In fact, in love with a city, maybe a vivid scenery in the city, for a green plum past, for a familiar old house. Perhaps, just this city is just this city. Just like falling alone, sometimes there is no reason, there is no reason, no windy moon, just love.
July, Xiamen. I was fans in Gulangyu and lost my mood in the coffee house in Nanhua Road. In fact, travel with the second forced girlfriends, and it is difficult to have a bad mood.
August, Qingdao. I called this trip called "a teenager who chased the spray." On Tanabata, I wrote your name on the stone old man beach.
In fact, no matter which city, I will be used to find a cafe, write the mood there, and dream.
In September, the life of Nan Guang has made me love. Walking in this red tile green grass, the mood is beautiful. I have two very good friends, one is my wife, one is my daughter. We are a family that loves to love, but we still feel lonely. I often think of Zhenjiang, think of you, you will often die in the night.
Insomnia, is the endless wandering on the pillow.
Whole October, I wrote an autobiographical "one person elope", writing a book, coffee, music and smoke, many times, when I remember the city you walked with you, I will want to speak again. To stop, you will be humid.
I know that I am a sensible person, but I didn't think that my fragility would be so unbearable. One day in November, I went to see Liu Ruoying, this woman who can't imagine love. I sing with her "later, I finally learned how to love unfortunately, you have already disappeared in the sea." It seems that she is singing me, singing a paragraph of love.
When you touched my head, "Be brave, be strong, to live happily!" I know you have to leave. . .
The end of the day, did not come. But just a certain second in that month, I suddenly felt, I was mature. Thinking about countless times, it is really independent, but there is an inexplicable loss. Retitude 8 hours a day, repeatedly countless times. Such a job was once I was desirable, I made myself try hard to break through, some things you don't do, you will alwaysI don't know if you can do it. Despite tired, at least I think I can share my parents, I grew up.
In my growth process, I will encounter a lot of twists and turns, I have a friend who has my family, my friend, my friend, give me a lot of support, they teach me to think, help me independent. People are constantly growing and adapting, I will do better.

Later, there were countless times. I can't leave the city, and I will leave all the people I care about there. Just every time, there is a feeling of people. One day I sat in the waterfront, seeing the rushing reeds, you are still next to me. I turned back, I found out anything, only a smoke was drifting. It turns out that this thing is like this, time is not a feet.
Sometimes hurt is also a mature, experience some seemingly bad things, or the big wind big waves are a good thing, because these experience is a magnifying glass, let you see the surroundings, which is true friends, which is a true person. There will be some friends you have to protect and love in your life, and there are more strangers.

2012 had to say that Jiangsu Haotian, I remember the main scene of the Olympics, I've been close to the 70,000 people. I remember that we shouted "A champion us coming" and tears. , Yes, Jiangsu football has never been so cool, I am fortunate that I have witnessed a copy of the Tiantian all the way, thank you for giving me strength, the brothers in the Nine District, we fight side by side. Blue, my dream, blue, my belief.
2012 can't mention you, my Zhang Kebao. I can't remember when I have a more you. Baby, you will always bring me laugh when I am not happy, you always love me to hug, many times, then tired arm, I can't bear to put it down. My heart is baby, I want you to grow up healthy and happy.
2012, fascinated and jazz, likes to bubble in a quiet cafe, like reading Liu Ruoying's text, likes to listen to the Damien Rice song. So many people said to me: Wen Qing, hello. However, the definition I gave yourself is: literary and female hooligans.

Before writing this summary, I always feel that the 2012 incomparable bad. But it is still very calm.
At this moment, I just standed on the street, there is no color on the four sides, but there is a different light.
No matter what our decision, we all bless each other.

Goodbye, give me a growth of 2012.

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