故地重游(一)

作者:夏侯灵海人气:2493更新:2021-07-14 18:00:20

      十七岁的夏天 ,在城市打工的哥哥带着我第一次坐华联商厦的电梯,那时他在城市的一个建筑工地上班,月工资500元。为了妹妹能在城市开开眼界快乐地玩两天 ,二十二岁的他第一次 ,卸下满身的泥土,换上唯一一套比较体面的衣服,带我去乘坐电梯 。
      十三年后的夏天 ,我带着他九岁的儿子来到秦皇岛,与父母共同拥挤在租赁的小屋,为的也是这个原因。
      “侄儿 ,你坐过电梯吗? ”我问他。
      “没有” 。
      “姑姑带你去乘电梯,好不好?”
      “好呀,好呀! ”侄儿高兴得手舞足蹈 。
      看着侄儿的高兴劲儿 ,我的心里一阵绞痛。侄儿虚九岁了,但是生得又瘦又小,看上去只像六七岁的年龄 ,身高只及城里同龄孩子的肩头。离开安静的乡下,来到这个喧嚣的城市,侄儿明显感到不适应 ,尤其在城里的孩子面前 ,他很不爱说话,只是拉着我的手或衣角,怯怯地偎依着我 ,远远地看着他们,看着他们白胖胖的身影以及快活甜美的笑 。我很懂侄儿,他不仅长相像我 ,就是性格也酷似少时的我。所以我尊重他,从不勉强他叫他投入到城市的人群。
      很多年以前,是哥带着我第一次乘电梯 。很多年以后 ,是我带着他的儿子第一次乘电梯。当我故地重游,却已完全忘记了当初乘电梯的感觉。我只是爱怜地拢着侄儿,细心地感受着他在电梯的两端跳上跳下的喜悦 ,但我却怎么也开心不起来,是愧疚?是哀伤?还是什么,五味杂陈 ,到底还是说不出究竟是何种滋味 。
      “姑 ,电梯怎么能自己走呢? ”
      “姑,刚上电梯时,我当是手得把着两旁木头(护栏) ,电梯往上一走,差点给我带下去。”
      “姑,坐电梯真好玩儿 ,下电梯时,我恐怕它把我的脚卷进去,赶紧一蹦 ,就蹦下去了”
      说完这些,他咧开嘴巴嘻嘻地笑,露出两颗门牙替下后的一个可爱的 、大大的豁口。
      我笑着怜惜地看着他 。
      眼前这个又黑又瘦的小不点儿 ,真像他的爸爸,我的哥哥。
      也就是第一次乘坐电梯的那年秋天,我由初中升入了师范 ,两个月后 ,哥哥带上他的300元钱去学校看我,我只记得他拢着我的肩膀陪我在碣阳湖边走了好几圈,他和我说了好多话 ,但现在大多已不记得了。唯记忆深刻的,却是他穿的那身沾有泥浆的灰色衣服,一双黑布鞋 ,还有就是那张凹下去的、又黑又瘦的脸 。从此那张二十二岁的、又黑又瘦的脸就深深印在我的脑海里 。自从哥哥忍痛放弃学业,就一直在外面打工赚钱,供妹妹读书 ,给家里还贷。什么玻璃厂 、水泥厂 、零部件生产厂、建筑工地、蹬三轮 、出海……,从十七岁到二十七岁,为了钱 ,他几乎什么活都干过,什么苦都吃过,却仍然只是因为钱 ,而错过了一次又一次能改变生活的机会。从此 ,刚性倔强的他不得不违从了命运 。
      “姑,你看那儿建大楼呢。 ”哦,回过神来 ,才发现我们此时已经走出了商场。顺着侄儿手指的方向看去,一座大楼正在施工,不知怎么 ,此时我突然想起了刚看过的那部《打工诗歌》集,打工者们用双肩血汗亲手建起了高楼大厦,但这繁华的城市对他们说的却是“请您走货梯 ,请您走货梯”,想此,心里又是一阵巨痛 ,不觉得叹了一口气 。心里想,“楠楠,你的爸爸此时就正是干着那样的活呢 ,正在享受着那样的待遇。”也许 ,梦与现实,就像“城市 ”与“乡村”一样,这是一个多么大的悲哀!但我什么也没说 ,也不想说出来,因为侄儿还小,或许说了他也不懂 ,也或许真怕早熟的他太懂,而去承受少时本不该承受的东西。
      带侄儿出去玩的时候,能看出来他快乐得就像一只小鸟 ,但从商场回来,他又是怯怯的样子,一如一直活在虚幻之中、不愿接受现实的我 。难不成多大个人 ,他的心里,都有虚幻和现实两个世界?但是,又很羡慕孩子 ,在现实面前 ,如果害怕了,还可以偎依在大人的身边,而成人 ,譬如你,我,又该去偎依谁呢?

英译版本:

The seventeen-year-old summer, the brother working in the city took me the first time I took the elevator of Hualian Commercial Building, at which time he was working on a construction site in the city, a monthly salary of 500 yuan. For the sister, I can play two days in the city. Twenty-two years old, the first time, unloaded the soil, replace the only set of decent clothes, take me to take the elevator.
Thirteen years later, I came to Qinhuangdao with his nine-year son, and the parents crowded with their parents in the leased cottage. It is also the reason.
"No, do you take the elevator?" I asked him.
"No".
"Guntie takes you to take the elevator, is it good?"
"Okay, okay!" The nephew is happy to dance.
Looking at the joy of the nephew, I am angina in my heart. The nephew is nine years old, but it will be thin and small. It looks like only the age of six or 7 years old, height and the shoulders of the same age in the city. Leaving the quiet country, come to this hustle and bustle, the nephew is obviously not suitable, especially in front of the children in the city, he doesn't like to talk, just pull my hand or clothes, I will be ignorant according to me. Look at them far, look at their white fat, and happy sweet laugh. I know my nephew, he is not only as much as I like, but I am very like me. So I respect him, never reluctantly call him the crowd in the city.
Many years ago, it was the first time to take the elevator. Many years later, I took his son to take a lift. When I re-retrieving, it has been completely forgotten the feeling of the elevator. I just love pityally, feel the joy of jumping in the two ends of the elevator, but I am not happy. Is it sad? Still what, five flavors, still can't say what taste is.
"How can I go to my own?"
"When I just went on the elevator, I was a hand to put two sides of the wood (guardrail), the elevator came, almost brought me. "
", when I took the elevator, I was so funny. When I took the elevator, I am afraid it put my feet in, hurry, I will go. "
After finishing these, he glanced over the mouth, showing a lovely, big gapper after two doors.
I looked at him with a smile.
This black and thin little small is really like his father, my brother.
The autumn of the first time, I was upgraded to the teacher from junior high school. After two months, my brother took his 300 yuan to see me. I only remember that he gathered my shoulders. Give a few laps with me on the lake, he told me a lot, but now I don't remember it. Only memories are profound, but he wears a gray dress with mud, a pair of black shoes, and the concave, black and thin face. Since then, the twenty-two years old, and the black and thin face is deeply printed in my mind. Since my brother reluctantly abandoned the academic industry, I have been working outside and make money outside, for my sister to study, and pay my money. What glass factories, cement plants, parts production plants, construction sites, three rounds, out of the sea ..., from the age of seventeen to twenty-seven years old, for money, he almost lives, what bitter is eaten, But still just because of the money, and missed another chance to change life again. Since then, he has to violate the fate.
"Aunt, you see the building of the building." Oh, I came back to God, I found out that we have already gone out of the mall. Looking along the direction of the fingers, a building is working, I don't know how, I suddenly remembered the "working poetry" set, and the workman built the high-rise building with shoulders. This bustling city is said to them "Please take the ladder, please take the ladder", I think this, my heart is a giant pain, I don't think it is sigh. I thought, "Nan Nan, your father is doing that kind of living, is enjoying the same treatment." Maybe, dreams and reality, like "city" and "country", this is a What a big sadness! But I didn't say anything, I didn't want to say, because the nephew was still small, maybe he didn't understand, and maybe he was too familiar with him too much, and to withstand a small time.
When playing with the child, I can see that he is happy to be like a bird, but from the shopping mall, he is awkward. As always, it is alive, I don't want to accept the reality. I. Is it difficult to make a big person, hisIn the heart, there are two worlds that are illusted and realistic? However, I am very envious of the child, in front of the reality, if you are afraid, you can also snuggle around the adult, and adult, such as you, I should go to you?

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