黎明之前

作者:汪念莲人气:2654更新:2021-07-19 16:00:06

是啊 ,已经很久了 ,很久没有晚上十点以后还在马路上游荡,很久没有晚上三点多还醒着无法入睡,很久没有想念一个人想念到不知不觉就流下眼泪 ,很久没有这种孤单的发疯的感觉在心头萦绕,很久没有徘徊在十字路口不知道该怎么走了,我们 ,也已经很久不见了 。
  我知道人生不过是一个又一个选择拼凑而成的,从小到大,我做了无数的选择 ,他们或对或错,才到了我现在这个境遇 。时间轴上,不管我怎么回忆 ,想起来的那些选择也不过是些我思量了很久的选择,到现在,我都无法判断它们是对还是错。站在这里 ,站在时间轴不长不短的这个距离 ,我也想过去改变什么,以前的选择,现在还有办法改变吗?我在很多事情的前面加了一个“如果 ” ,我幻想那些“如果 ”成真,我现在的道路会不会是另一番模样,如果当初我选择做一个整天做梦的女孩 ,依着性子去忽略现实;如果当初我不顾虑那么多,喜欢就是喜欢,而不隐藏自己……我做了那么多的选择 ,多多少少,并不都是按照我内心真实的想法,我怕有一天 ,连那最后一点我心底的选择的也被现实带走,我怕从此以后,“希望、不希望”会被“应该 、不应该”取代。
  我静默在十字路口 ,看着眼前的车子一辆一辆消失在视线边缘 ,看着一张张陌生的面孔迎面走来又离开,突然觉得心里一阵空虚,每个人都拼命想要去到她们想去的地方 ,但是这个“想 ”却不是内心诉说的“想”,是现实给的正确答案“应该” 。我也有想到的地方,它在我心里某一个角落 ,我感受得到时间正在一点点改变它,而我,却无能为力。
  夜晚的星空很美 ,我只有在凌晨三点多还没有睡着的夜晚才看得到这美丽。我失眠的时候,这个城市大部分的人都在睡着,街上的路灯也灭了 ,留一片黑暗给我欣赏,让我对着它苦笑 。心里想的多了,就是睡不着的 ,我的心里想的多了 ,连困意也无暇顾及了。可我究竟在想些什么呢?我记不得,想不清,忆不起失眠的夜晚我究竟在想些什么了。可是即便我拼了命的回忆起来又有什么用呢 ,其实,这个世界上并没有什么人愿意听我讲那些我喜欢的,我梦想的 ,我厌恶的,我想了很久的事情,也没有什么人能陪我一直到凌晨三点还在倚窗而望 。
  这么久了 ,我试着忘掉那些曾经在我心里留下浅浅的痕迹的人,我觉得每个人一辈子能记得的人是有限的,我忘不了她们 ,也就腾不出地方去记得别人。孤单的时候,寂寞的时候,拿出手机来翻电话簿 ,却发现没有一个人我可以依靠。人人都是只身来到这世上的 ,离开的时候也注定是一个人,可我没想到,在这个世上的每一分钟 ,我仍注定是一个人 。
  其实这没什么不好,只是我还是不习惯罢了,怕只怕无论时间过了多久我还是不习惯 ,不习惯一个人逛街,一个人看恐怖片,一个人听音乐恣意的流眼泪 ,一个人疯狂的想念另一个人。
  想念,对的,我到现在还是在想念着。细水长流永远比轰轰烈烈更让我怀念 ,更让我感伤,更让我无法忘记 。我做了太多错误的选择,在关于你的选择的面前 ,我永远都像是一个傻子 ,不知道该怎么做,不知道该怎么说,我的理性 ,我的思维,在你面前就像是根本不存在一样 。但是那一切都过去了,我还是我 ,没有了你,我不在天真的总是被欺骗了。我们,也很久没有见面了。这对我来说是好的 ,尽快的忘记是这个陷阱唯一的出路 。
  有些日子,我把它留给了特定的人,那一天 ,我只会想起她,为了我能清楚的记得他还在时的点点滴滴。
  黑暗过后就是黎明,到那时 ,第一缕阳光会洒在我的脸上 ,我眼前的一片黑暗都会消失殆尽,这些我都很清楚,也很期待。
  但是 ,黎明之前,我还能够走多远?我到底能不能够到达一个辽阔的地方去迎接黎明?
  黎明之前,我学着慢慢的忘记 ,为了在一切都毁灭之前走的更远 。

  ---- 文章来源于网络

英译版本:

Yes, it has been a long time. I haven't wandered on the road for a long time. I haven't woke up in the road for three o'clock in the evening. I haven't missed a person for a long time. I haven't missed the tears. I haven't seen this alone. The crazy feeling is lingering in the heart, and I haven't gone in the crossroads for a long time. We haven't seen you for a long time.
I know that life is just another choice of patchwork, from small to big, I have done countless choices, they or wrong or wrong, only this situation now. On the timeline, no matter how I recall, those who think of thinking is just a long time I think, until now, I can't judge that they are or wrong. Standing here, standing at this distance between the time axis is not short, I also want to change what, the previous choice, is there a way to change now? I added a "if" in front of a lot of things, I fantasically "if" is true, my current road will not be another look, if I choose to be a girl who dreams all day, according to sex Ignore the reality; if I don't care so much, I like it, I don't hide myself ... I have done so many choices, more less, I don't all follow my heart's true idea, I am afraid that one day, Even the last point of my heart is also taken away by reality. I am afraid that "hope, I don't want" will be "should not" replace it.
I am silent in the crossroads, watching a car in front of the car disappearing on the edge of the sight, watching a strange face, walking around, suddenly feeling empty in the heart, everyone is desperately wanting to go To the place they want, this "thinking" is not the "thinking" in the heart, it is the correct answer "should". I also think of the place that it is in my heart, I feel that time is changing it, and I can't do it.
The starry sky in the night is beautiful, I only see this beauty at night, still not asleep. When I was insomnia, most people in this city were asleep, and the street lights on the street were also destroyed. I gave me a darkness and let me laugh at it. I think more in my heart, I can't sleep, my heart thinks more, and even sleepy. What can I think? I can't remember, I can't think of it, I can't help but insomnia, I am thinking about something. But even if I have a memories I have been fighting?, In fact, there is no one who is willing to listen to me that I like, I like it, I think about a long time, and there is no one who can accompany me until the morning three o'clock. The window is expected.
So long, I tried to forget those who have left shallow traces in my heart, I think everyone who can remember everyone in my life is limited, I can't forget them, and I will go out. Remember others. When lonely, when I was lonely, I took out my mobile phone to turn the phone book, but I found no one. I can rely on it. Everyone is only arrived in this world. When I leave, I have been destined to be a person, but I didn't think that every minute in this world, I was still destined to be a person.
In fact, this is not bad, but I am still not used to it. I am afraid that I am afraid that I still don't have habitually, I am not used to go shopping, a person watching horror, a person listening to music, tears, A person is crazy to miss another person.
Missing, right, I am still missing now. The long flow of the fine water will always make me miss more than the vigilance, let me feel sad, and let me not forget. I have made too many mistakes. In front of you, I will always be like a fool, I don't know what to do, I don't know what to say, my rationality, my thinking, like in front of you. It is not the same at all. But that everything has passed, I am still me, I don't have you, I am always deceived. We haven't seen it for a long time. This is good for me, forgetting as soon as possible is the only way out of this trap.
Some days, I left it to a particular person, that day, I will only think of her, I can clearly remember that he is still bits.
The darkness is dawn. In that time, the first sunshine will sprinkle on my face, and the darkness in front of my eyes will disappear, and these are very clear and look forward to.
However, how far I can go before dawn? Can I get to a vast place to meet dawn?
Before dawn, I learned slowly, in order to go far before everything was destroyed.
---- The article comes from the network

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