爱情 不是一个人的事

作者:公孙怜安人气:2831更新:2021-07-14 20:00:12

  人之间的爱情只不过来来回回都是三个字“我爱你 ,我恨你,分手吧,在一起”简简单单 ,却又许多人连着三个字都过不去 。《北爱》告诉我,曾经我以为我很清楚了,很明白了 ,想的很透彻了 ,我可以放弃对你的爱和思念,我以为我可以像林夏那样豁达,对不爱我的人可以潇洒放弃。
    如今 ,一年零29天了,只要有网络的日子,我都会忍不住想访问你的空间。一天一天 ,这个动作似乎成为一种无意培养的习惯,才发现这种习惯好可怕,它在一天天将我吞噬 ,吞噬的不是我对你的记忆,吞噬的是我爱其他人的能力 。
 
   我们虽在同一座城市,却是不相见 ,无论我怎么寻找你的身影,出现的永远的是相似的背影或是自己的晃神,看到与你相似的背影我的眼睛都会不禁的停留在那个人身上好久好久 ,之后便是搜索过去的记忆暗自伤怀。
 
因为 ,我找了一年,希望有一点缘分可以让我们偶然相遇,可是终究还是一场梦一场空。每一次看到情侣们相互的依偎 ,彼此的依靠,都会想到你我,都会投去羡慕不已的眼神 ,多希望那对情侣是你和我啊!每一次的羡慕之后便是为那对陌生的情侣祈祷他们的长长久久,不要像我们一样,分手都是糊糊涂涂 。
 
   过去 ,悄无深吸的袭击着我的现在与未来,在两座熟悉的城市穿梭着,走到哪里都有你我的回忆 ,有时,害怕终有一日会忘记所有,边回归原地 ,重新走一段我们牵手走过的路 ,即便是含着泪也想走完这段路 。
 
   我们相遇在昌吉一个不起眼的联通营业厅里,牵着你的手去见你的朋友,我们一起吃过饭 ,一起和你的朋友,哥们儿喝过酒,唱过歌。情人节你送花给我 ,带我和朋友去吃饭,陪着我们过情人节,那是我第一个情人节 ,那种开心你知道吗?你的失误造成被公司上级训斥,我迫不及待从学校来看你,那是我第一次的疯狂 ,第一次的违背学校的规则,为自己写了假假条,尽管心惊胆战 ,但就是想去找你 ,我知道自己帮不上你什么忙,就只想这样陪着你,看着你就很安心。我的好朋友生病住院 ,和你一起去看了她,当为她们介绍你是我男朋友是我是何等的幸福与骄傲;你知道吗?你陪着我和韩雪去逛街,我知道你并不喜欢逛街 ,去看电影,都是因为我们,我心里的感谢与感激是满满的 ,你又知道吗?当你的弟弟来你家时,他的到来使我们相见的时间又短了,我有多么的舍不得你离开 ,当你上车的那一瞬间我就想和你一起走,你知道吗?当你晚上12点从别的城市来到我身边抱着我的那一刻,我有多么感激与感动 ,抱着你我害怕失去你的恐惧 ,你又何曾知道?你的渐渐冷漠,才不过数十天而已,似乎一切都变得陌生 ,我的心慢慢靠近你,而你的心似乎离我越来越远,让我感觉到惶恐与害怕 ,却始终战战兢兢的维持着一段看似摇摇欲坠的感情惶惶不得终日,当身边的朋友劝我放弃你,说了多少你的不好 ,我承认对她们的话我动摇,是啊!趁着我还没有多爱你的时候放弃你,也许这对自己才是最好的;日日想 ,夜夜想,到最后我都没有放弃你,我希望可以通过自己的努力改变我们之间不咸不淡的关系 ,可是 ,到最后,我还是错了,失去的东西再得回来也失去了原有的味道 ,所以我放弃了我们短暂的“爱情 ” 。我离开,还我们自由。
 
    不知道是不是回忆越久越深刻,越让人泥足深陷。我天真的以为 ,分手可以遗忘,可是日子越久思念却月陈旧,才发现我真的很爱很爱你 ,听别人说,用另外一段爱情来遗忘曾经的爱情是最好的治疗方法,我迫不及待的尝试了 ,可是一个月后,最终心甘情愿的埋葬了短暂的虚假的盲目的爱,因为 ,在这个疗伤的过程中 ,你如影随形 。我放弃了所有治疗的方法,肆无忌惮的回忆着我们的过去,越回忆便越想回到过去。可是 ,现实告诉我,要理智的面对眼前的一切,我虽克制着自己不去找你 ,却克制不了自己去想你,去在人群中找你。当这些行为,成为习惯一天天的重复在我的生活中时 ,我才发现,我无可救药了 。对你,我输了。你潇洒的转身 ,我却弥留了。 #p#分页标题#e#

 
    几次三番的,凭借唯一一次的记忆,去找寻你上班的公司 ,乘坐着公交车 ,心里的恐慌与兴奋按捺不住,想着如果见到你我该说什么,做什么?编出什么谎言让你相信我此时此刻的出现 。那天的天很冷很冷 ,飘着零零洒洒的雪花,冷风刺骨,心里却是暖热的 ,一个小时的车程,在我记忆中的站牌下了车,开始寻找你公司的牌匾 ,一遍一遍,穿过两条街道,来来回回 ,始终没有找到你所在的地方,站在天桥上,来来回回的车辆疾驰而过 ,却没有带走我的失落。
 
于是想起了求助118114 ,拨通电话询问我要去地方,充满期望前行,接到朋友的来电 ,只能打道回府,留下这个地点和希望,待自己下一次的到访。
 
    父亲的车祸 ,让这一切都改变了,心里的悲心里的苦无人倾诉,家中的变故让我们一时无法接受 ,此时此刻我想到的竟然是你这位早已不存在与我的生命中的男生,想要告诉你,想要靠着你 ,想要抱着你大哭一场,可是这一切,这一幕每日只能在午夜时分出现梦里 ,在梦里你的安慰虽然没有只言片语 ,却给我厚实的肩膀,让我踏实,让我安全 、温暖 。可当闹铃想起那一刻 ,这一切回归于现实,原来一切都只是梦,你从未出现过 。
 
    去医院的路上 ,安然的望向窗外,脑子里也不知道在想些什么,只是想在嘈杂的公交车上给自己的内心寻找一快安静的避风港。不知怎么了?忽然对那个地方好熟悉 ,其实记忆中并没有那个环境与街道,但就是感觉它很熟悉,从那日起 ,心里死死的记住这个地方,这个站牌。终于,在二月二十二日那天 ,我到了那里 ,沿着街道,顺着记忆中熟悉的路程寻找着,我找到了 ,原来,曾经找过的地方并不是那里 。站在你公司门前好久好久,心里没有任何波澜 ,只是想安安静静的站在那里,躲在车后,静静地看着里面发生的一切 ,虽然远但是透过玻璃还是能够看到,我不知道当时的你是不是在那里面上班,还是出去了 ,但是,好欣慰,我终于找到了。看着看着 ,沿着那条路我看到了和你一起去吃饭的餐馆 ,因为是下午,所以客人很少,看着我们曾经做过的那张桌椅 ,我想进去,我想重温,却害怕再看到你。矛盾的心情让我想留却不能留 ,真的害怕见到你的那一刻,我会控制不住自己的情绪,我会在你面前做出令你厌恶的事 ,蹲在那里,看着那里,我除了哭就是哭 。哭我们的过去;哭我不堪的现在 ,哭我不能预知的未来;哭你以后会有怎样的归宿,而我却只能在原地守着等着你幸福的未来,我无奈的放手离开。
 
     时常问自己 ,你到哪里好?时常得到一种答案 ,我不知道。也许爱情就是这样,酸酸甜甜又苦涩,不需要知道为甚么好 ,哪里好,只知道“我爱这样的他”,
 
     也许 ,你的一生不会为我停留,可我人生中的第一站是为你停留的,就注定一生要在这一站驻足 。虽然过去的车不在为我停留 ,我也不会离开这里半步,刮风下雨,我等着你乘坐着幸福的快车再次使到我面前带着我一起走。

英译版本:

The love between people is only coming back and forth is three words "I love you, I hate you, break up," simply "simple, but many people have three words." "Northern Love" tells me that I thought I was very clear, I understand, I thought it was very thorough, I can give up your love and thinking about you, I thought I could be as open-minded as Lin Xia, I don't love me. People can give up.
Today, a year and 29 days, as long as there is a network, I can't help but want to visit your space. One day, this action seems to be a habit of unintentional cultivation, I found this habit of terrible, it swallowed me every day, swallowing it is not my memory, swallowing the ability I love others.

Although we are in the same city, we don't meet each other, no matter how I look for your figure, the forever is a similar back or your own, I see my similar back. The eyes will not help but stay in that person for a long time, and then the memory is self-injured.

Because I have been looking for a year, I hope that a little fate can make us chance, but it is still a dream. Every time I see the lovers, I will think of you, I will think of you, I will cast a sense of envy, I hope that the couple is you and me! Every envy is to pray for the strange couple for a long time, don't be like us, break up is paste.

In the past, there was no deep suction, and I was now in the future. When I have two familiar cities, I have to have your memories, sometimes, afraid that I will forget all the day, Returning to the original place, re-taken the way we hold hands, even if you want to walk this road.

We met in Changji's inconspicuous Unicom business hall, take your hand to see your friends, we have a meal together, together with your friends, buddy, drink wine, sing song. Valentine's Day, you send me a flower, take me to eat with friends, accompany us, I have a Valentine's Day, that is my first Valentine's Day, that kind of happiness you know? Your mistakes have been reprimanded by the company. I can't wait to see you from the school. It is my first crazy, the first time I violated the rules of the school, I wrote a fake leave for myself, although I am sighful, butJust want to find you, I know that I can't help you, just want to accompany you, watch you. My good friend is sick and hospitalized, and I went to see her with you. When you introduce you, what is my happiness and pride, what do you know? You are with me and Han Xue to visit the street. I know that you don't like to go shopping, go to the movie, because of us, my gratitude is full, do you know? When your brother came to your home, he came to make us more time, how much I can't leave, when you get on the moment, I want to go with you, do you know? When you come to me from other cities at 12 o'clock in the evening, how gratitude, I am afraid of losing your fear, why did you know? Your gradually is more indifferent, only dozens of days, it seems that everything is strange, my heart is slowly close, and your heart seems to be far more and more from me, let me feel fear and fear, but always fight The feeling of maintaining a seemingly shake descending is not a day, when the friends around me persuade you to give up you, how many you are not good, I admit that I am shaken to them, yeah! I don't have much time to give you, maybe this is the best; I think at night, night and night, I have never given up you, I hope I can change our efforts through my own efforts. Not salty, but in the end, I am still wrong, lost something will come back and lose the original taste, so I gave up our short "love". I am leaving, and we are free.

I don't know if I remember, the more profound, the more it is, the more it is deep. I really thought that breaking up can forget, but the longevity of the days, the years, the moon, I found that I really love you, listen to others, use another love to forget the most love is the best treatment, I can't wait Attempt, but after a month, the ultimately willing to bury a short false blind love, because, in this treatment, you like this. I gave up all the methods of treatment, and the unscrupulous memories of our past, the more memories, the more I want to go back. However, reality tells me that it is reasonable to face everything in front of me, although I can't find you, I can't think of you, go to the crowd. When these behaviors became a habit of repeating a day, I found out that I didn't have medicine. CorrectYou, I lost. You turn around, I still take it. # p 分 标 标 # e #

Three times, with the only memory, go to the company to go to work, take the bus, the panic in my heart and excitement can't help but think about it What should I say to you, what? What lies make you believe that I will appear at this moment. It was very cold that day, I was very cold, and the snow sprinkled snowflakes, the cold wind bones, but the heart was warm, an hour's drive, I took the car under my memory, I started looking for your company's plaque, once again Once, through the two streets, come back and forth, I have never found your place, standing on the bridge, come back and returned, but I have not taken my lost.

So I remembered the help 118114, and I want to go to the place. I am full of expectations. I will take a friend's call, I can only go to the garden, leave this place and hope, waiting for themselves next time. Visit.

Father's car accident, let this all change, the sadness in my heart is unattended, the changes in the family can't accept it, at this moment, I think it is that you have already existed. With my life, I want to tell you, I want to rely on you, I want to hold you, but all this, this scene can only have a dream at midnight, in the dream, you Although there is no words, I give me a thick shoulder, let me be practical, let me safe, warm. But when you want to think about it, all this is back in reality, and it is just a dream, you have never appeared.

On the way to the hospital, Enron is looking to the window, don't know what to think about, just want to find a fast and quiet harbor on the noisy bus. I don't know what it? Suddenly, I was familiar with that place. In fact, I didn't have that environment and street, but I feel very familiar. From that day, I will remember this place, this site card. Finally, on the day of February 22, I was there, along the street, hooked in the memories, I found it, I found out that the place I have found is not there. I have been standing for a long time in front of your company, there is no wave in my heart, just wants An An quiet to stand there, after hiding in the car, watching everything in it, although far but throughGlass is still able to see, I don't know if you are on the time, still go out, but I'm so gratifying, I finally found it. Looking at it, along the way, I saw a restaurant with you, because it was afternoon, so the guests were very few, watching the table and chairs we have done, I want to go in, I want to revisit. But I am afraid to see you again. Contradictory mood makes me want to stay, I can't stay. I am really afraid to see you. I will not control my emotions. I will make things havery in front of you, kneeling there, watching there In addition to crying, I cried. Crying our past; crying, now, crying, I can't predict the future; crying you will have the future, but I can only keep waiting for your happy future, I am helplessly let go.

I often ask yourself, where are you? I often get a answer, I don't know. Maybe love is like this, sweet and bitter, don't know why, where is it, I only know "he like this",

Maybe, your life will not stay for me, The first stop in my life is to stay for you, I am destined to be in this station. Although the past cars stayed for me, I will not leave some steps here, the wind is raining, I am waiting for you to take a happy express train again to bring me in front of me.

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