离开与离别榕下听雨

作者:耿晓宵人气:869更新:2021-07-13 06:01:51

     离开与离别是有区别的,离别多少带有些不舍得感情色彩 ,而离开和离别相比就显得淡漠了。二哥就是离开这个家的 。
     对于二哥的出走,母亲一直在心里是个坎。总觉得是自己的唠叨把他逼走的。二哥走的时候没人知道具体是什么时候,或许是那个上午 ,至于是哪个上午,只有母亲自己心里清楚 。母亲说,二哥走的时候拿了家里200块钱 ,可能去南方了,路费倒是够了。
     二哥离开家之后,身边提到他的也就多了起来。每年走访亲朋好友 ,他们总是习惯性的问上几句关于二哥的话 。一年、两年 、三年……我不知道这里的省略号要用到多长。我想在母亲那里应该是换成秒来计算的。母亲在我的记忆中是信奉神的,不知道什么时候由信奉“中国神”转变信奉“外国神 ”基督了,或许是二哥走后的一段时间吧 。每天对着十字架叽里咕噜的一番 ,从语气与态度上都能感觉到母亲的虔诚来。
我是和二哥从小打到大的 ,印象中二哥倒是很少谦让我的,以至于小时候每次打架之后总幻想着长大出息以后怎么怎么报复他,两三天的时间足以让我忘得一干二净。后来受欺负后在母亲那告状的时候怎么也想不起来旧账了 ,只是觉得甚是委屈 。所以后来二哥刚离开家那段时间我心里倒没什么感觉,不过时间一长,心里隐隐有了些思念 。
     二哥在家一直是受夸的 ,二哥长得帅(这是母亲很乐意炫耀的)。二哥是我家第一个会开拖拉机的,而且一上午练得就那样熟练。二哥做的弹弓估计很少有人能模仿的那样精致,制作的火药玩具枪足以羡慕死好多人 。很多东西在二哥手里也变得很好使唤。父亲也是很喜爱二哥的 ,有了二哥的心灵手巧父亲也就轻松了很多。唯一比不上我的就是学习成绩 。可后来二哥死活不念了,不知道什么原因,或许和他的成绩有关吧。
     二哥有一身的倔脾气 ,就像上学一样,没人能阻止他。母亲为这经常揍他,二哥不管母亲怎么生气怎么揍 ,他是从来不跑的 ,直到母亲狠狠地打够为止 。母亲每每打过都是后悔,以至于事后和人提及时眼眶总是湿漉漉的。二哥像马,除了生活没人能驯服他。倔强的离开家 ,不知道会延续到什么时候,或许他自己都不知道 。三舅说,现在他就是一颗棱角分明的石块 ,经过长时间的水流磨合,总有一天它会变成鹅卵石的。
     时间被风吹着显得更快,二哥似乎变得历史性 ,但在与二哥扯上感情关系的人中却留下了越来越深的痕迹。当想念变成思念再变成挂念的过程中经历的不只是春夏秋冬的更替,还有悬在危崖边上那些时时的担忧 。由刚开始盼望二哥回来到盼望能给家里一个电话,盼望变成奢望 ,祈祷也变成祈求 。没有二哥的日子里,整个家就像一碗鸡蛋汤顿时变得清淡了许多。
                     2012年2月13日

英译版本:

There is a difference between departure and portions, how much is somewhat unsolicient, and it is indifferent compared to leave and leave. Second brother is to leave this home.
For the travelers of the second brother, the mother has been in the heart is a hurdle. I always feel that I am so embarrassed him. When I left, no one knows when it is, maybe it is that morning, as soon as it is, only my mother is clear. Mother said that when the second brother walked, I took 200 yuan in my family, and I may go to the south, and the toll is enough.
After the second brother left home, he mentioned that he mentioned him. Every year, visit friends and family, they always habitually ask a few words about the second brother. One year, two years, three years ... I don't know how long it will be used here. I want to be in a second to be calculated in my mother. My mother is believed in my memory. I don't know when I am trusting "Chinese God" to the "Foreign God" Christ, maybe it is a period of time after the second brother. Every day, I can feel the piety of my mother from tone and attitude.
I am hitting a big one with my second brother, I am very modest to make me in the impression, so that I will retaliate about how to retaliate after each fantasy every time I have a big future. Let me forget to have two nets. Later, when I was bullied, I couldn't think of the old account when my mother was coming, but I feel very wronged. So, I came to the second brother just left home. I didn't feel it. However, time is long, my heart has some thoughts.
The second brother has always been boasting at home, and the second brother is handsome (this is a mother who is happy to show off). Second brother is the first one of my family will open the tractor, and I will be skilled in the morning. The slingshot of the second brother is estimated that there are very few people who can imitate, and the gunpowder toy gun made is enough to envy many people. Many things have become very good in the hands of the two brothers. Father is also very fond of second brother, and the father of the second brother is a lot of relaxed fathers. The only thing that is not more than me is learning grades. I will not read it later, I don't know why, maybe it is about him.
Second brother has a mood, just like going to school, no one can stop him. Mother is often here, and the second brother does not care how the mother is angry, he is fromIt's not going to run until the mother is slamming enough. Mother is always regretted everything, so that the eyes are always wet when people mentioned. Two brothers are like horses, in addition to life, no one can tam him. Agile leaving home, I don't know when it will continue, maybe he doesn't know. Third said that he is now a distinct stone, which has been engaged in a long time, and one day it will turn into a pebble.
The time is blown faster by the wind, and the second brother seems to become historic, but there is a growing trace in people who have the relationship with the second brother. When I miss the thoughts, I have experienced the replacement of spring and summer autumn and winter, and there is also concerns that hanging on the edge of the crowd cliff. From the beginning, I hope that I will come back to my hopes to give my home a phone, I hope to become a luxury, praying also turning into prayers. In the days to have no second brother, the whole family is like a bowl of eggs and donuts.
February 13, 2012

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