看着你幸福的笑容落花飘零

作者:雷水斐人气:279更新:2021-07-19 07:38:03

      再次见到你,是在你的婚礼上。看着你幸福的笑容,原谅我没有办法打从心底祝福你和她百年好合 ,不知道你是否听出了我祝福中的不甘 。
 
      这是一场完美的婚礼,有着浪漫的会场布置,热情祝福的宾客 ,英俊的新郎,还有美丽的新娘,唯一美中不足的大概就是我这个前任的存在吧。坐在一个角落的位置上 ,我机械般地吃着桌上的美食,却尝不出任何味道,脑子里像走马灯一样回顾着那些年我和你一起度过的时光。
 
      那时候是你主动追求我 ,闹得人尽皆知 。我以为你的积极代表着你对我的喜欢,就欣然答应了你的追求,和你成为一对校园情侣。当所有人都羡慕我们的时候 ,其实我心里一直很害怕 ,怕你会对我说你只是一时冲动,怕你随时会和我分手,怕你会移情别恋。当我们爱情长跑了五年 ,我所害怕的事情都没有发生,我以为你是认真的,终于放下了心 ,更用心地经营着我们的爱情 。
 
      当我明白爱情并不是用时间来衡量的时候已经太迟了。在一起久了,我就想和你结婚,可是你总是说不急 ,等你的事业再上一层楼的时候才娶我,还跟我描绘了一幅美好的未来蓝图。我相信了,不再逼你结婚 ,耐心地等待你向我求婚的那一天 。没想到我并没有等到这一天,反而等到了我们的分手。你说你已经不再爱我了,也不想再耽误我的青春 ,分手是我们最好的结局。我的自尊不允许我哀求一个不爱我的男人 ,所以我假装无所谓地放手了 。
 
      分手还不到三个月,我就收到了你的喜帖 。我的心情很复杂,也犹豫着要不要去。决定要去的时候 ,我设想过无数种在婚礼上让你难堪的方法,好让你后悔邀请我,更要让你后悔抛弃我。可是当我走入会场 ,看到一张张婚纱照上的你时,顿时打消了报复你的打算 。照片上的你笑得很灿烂,是你从来没有在我面前展露过的。如今你毫不吝啬地展示给她和所有人看 ,是在告诉我你从来没有真正爱过我,才会和我分手吗?
 
      当我把过去都回忆了一遍之后,你和她在一群亲友的簇拥下来到我这一桌敬酒了。我深深地看了你一眼 ,端起酒杯一口喝光了里面的红酒 。对酒精过敏的我手臂上渐渐出现了一些红疹,很痒,但都被我心里的痛掩盖了。我若无其事地祝福你和她白头偕老 ,你笑着接受了。等你转战到下一桌的时候 ,我起身离开座位,走进了洗手间 。挽起袖子,看着手臂上的红色疙瘩 ,我突然觉得自己很悲哀。以前那个会阻止我喝酒,会给我买药膏的你已经消失了,你甚至忘了我会过敏 ,还能对着她笑得那么开心。
 
      看着你幸福的笑容,我真的不好受 。可是我的难过你再也不会在意了,也许你从来都没有在意过。我该放下了 ,忘掉那些过往,寻找属于我的幸福。

英译版本:

See you again, is on your wedding. Look at your happy smile, forgive me, I have no way to bless you and her a hundred years, I don't know if you have heard the unwillingness in my blessings.

This is a perfect wedding, there is a romantic venue, a guest blessing guest, handsome groom, beautiful bride, the only beauty is probably the existence of my predecessor. Sitting in a corner, I mechanically eaten the food on the table, but I can't taste anything, and my mind looks into the time I spend the time with you in the year.

At that time, you took the initiative to pursue me, and everyone is very familiar. I thought you actively represented your favorite, I would adapt your pursuit, be a pair of campus couples. When everyone envyed us, in fact, I have been very scared in my heart. I am afraid that you will tell me that you are only impulsive, afraid that you will break up with me at any time, afraid that you will move. When our love has been ran for five years, the things I am afraid have not happened. I thought you were serious, I finally put down my heart, and managed our love more.

When I understand that love is not a time to measure, it is too late. I have been married to you, but you always say that you can't say urgent, wait for your career to go to the next level, you will marry me, and I also depict a beautiful future blueprint. I believe it, no longer forced you to get married, wait patiently to ask you the day to marry me. I didn't expect that I didn't wait until this day, but I waited until our breakup. You said that you no longer love me, don't want to delay my youth, break up is our best ending. My self-respect does not allow me to ask a man who doesn't love my, so I pretend that it doesn't matter.

Break up for less than three months, I received your wedding invitation. My mood is very complicated, and I hesitate to go. When I decided to go, I envissed countless ways to make you embarrassed in the wedding, so that you regret me, let you regret to abandon me. But when I walked into the venue, I saw a wedding photo, and I suddenly disappeared your intention. You smiled very brilliant on the photo, which has never been revealed in front of me. Now you don't show her and everyone, I am telling me you.Don't really love me, will you break up with me?

After I recalled the past, you and her have a group of relatives and friends to go to this table. I watched you deeply, and I took the wine glass to drink red wine inside. I gradually appeared some red rash on my arm of alcohol allergy, itchy, but I was covered by my heart. If you have no matter what you bless you and her, you have accepted it. When you transfer to the next table, I got up and left the seat and walked into the toilet. Pull up the sleeves, watching the red sputum on the arm, I suddenly felt that I was sad. I used to stop me from drinking, you will have disappeared, you or even forgot, I will be allergic, but I can laugh so happy to she.

Looking at your happy smile, I really don't accept it. But my sadness you will never care, maybe you have never worried. I should put it down, forget those past, find my happiness.

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