民国十年十月十三夜，我的老同学王彦祖先生请法国汉学家戴弥微先生（Mon Demiéville）在他家中吃饭 ，陪客的有辜鸿铭先生，法国的Ⅹ先生，徐墀先生 ，和我；还有几位，我记不得了 。这一晚的谈话，我的日记里留有一个简单的记载 ，今天我翻看旧日记，想起辜鸿铭的死，想起那晚上的主人王彦祖也死了 ，想起十三年之中人事变迁的迅速，我心里颇有不少的感触。所以我根据我的旧日记，用记忆来补充它，写成这篇辜鸿铭的回忆。
辜鸿铭向来是反对我的主张的 ，曾经用英文在杂志上驳我；有一次为了我在《每周评论》上写的一段短文，他竟对我说，要在法庭控告我 。然而在见面时 ，他对我总很客气。
这一晚他先到了王家，两位法国客人也到了；我进来和他握手时，他对那两位外国客说：Here comes my learned enemy ！大家都笑了。入座之后 ，戴弥微的左边是辜鸿铭，右边是徐墀 。大家正在喝酒吃菜，忽然辜鸿铭用手在戴弥微的背上一拍 ，说：“先生，你可要小心！“戴先生吓了一跳，问他为什么 ，他说：“因为你坐在辜疯子和徐颠子的中间！ ”大家听了，哄堂大笑，因为大家都知道，“Cranky Hsü”和“Crazv Ku”的两个绰号。
一会儿 ，他对我说：“去年张少轩（张勋）过生日，我送了他一副对子，上联是‘荷尽已无擎雨盖’ ，——下联是什么？ ”我当他是集句的对联，一时想不起好对句，只好问他 ，“想不出好对，你对的什么？”他说：“下联是‘菊残犹有傲霜枝’。”我也笑了 。
他又问：“你懂得这副对子的意思吗？ ”我说：“‘菊残犹有傲霜枝’，当然是张大帅和你老先生的辫子了。‘擎雨盖’ ，是什么呢？”他说：“是清朝的大帽。”我们又大笑。
他在席上大讲他最得意的安福国会选举时他卖票的故事，这个故事我听他亲口讲过好几次了，每回他总添上一点新花样 ，这也是老年人说往事的普通毛病 。
安福部当权时，颁布了一个新的国会选举法，其中有一部分的参议员是须由一种中央通儒院票选的，凡国立大学教授 ，凡在国外大学得学位的，都有选举权。于是许多留学生有学士硕士博士文凭的，都有人来兜买。本人不必到场 ，自有人拿文凭去登记投票 。据说当时的市价是每张文凭可卖二百元。兜买的人拿了文凭去，还可以变化发财。譬如一张文凭上的姓名是（Wu Ting），第一次可报“武定 ” ，第二次可报“丁武”，第三次可报“吴廷”，第四次可说是江浙方音的“丁和” 。这样办法 ，原价二百元的，就可以卖八百元了。
辜鸿铭卖票的故事确是很有风趣的。他说：“ⅩⅩⅩ来运动我投他一票，我说：‘我的文凭早就丢了’ ，他说：‘谁不认得你老人家？只要你亲自来投票，用不着文凭 。’我说：‘人家卖两百块钱一票，我老辜至少要卖五百块。’他说：‘别人两百，你老人家三百。’我说：‘四百块 ，少一毛钱不来，还得先付现款，不要支票 。’他要还价 ，我叫他滚出去。他只好说：‘四百块钱依你老人家。可是投票时务必请你到场。’ “选举的前一天，ⅩⅩⅩ果然把四百元钞票和选举入场证都带来了，还再三叮嘱我明天务必到场 。等他走了 ，我立刻出门，赶下午的快车到了天津，把四百块钱全报效在一个姑娘——你们都知道 ，她的名字叫一枝花——的身上了。两天工夫，钱花光了，我才回北京来。 ”
“ⅩⅩⅩ听说我回来了 ，赶到我家，大骂我无信义 。我拿起一根棍子，指着那个留学生小政客，说：‘你瞎了眼睛 ，敢拿钱来买我！你也配讲信义！你给我滚出去！从今天以后不要再上我门来！’“那小子看见我的棍子，真个乖乖的逃出去了。”说完了这个故事，他回过头来对我说：“你知道有句俗话：‘ 监生拜孔子 ，孔子吓一跳。’我上回听说ⅩⅩⅩ的孔教会要去祭孔子，我编了一首白话诗：
“胡先生，我的白话诗好不好？”一会儿，辜鸿铭指着那两位法国客人大发议论了。他说：“先生们 ，不要见怪，我要说你们法国人真有点不害羞，怎么把一个文 学博士的名誉学位送给ⅩⅩⅩ！Ⅹ先生 ，你的《ⅩⅩ报》上还登出ⅩⅩⅩ的照片来，坐在一张书桌边，桌上堆着一大堆书，题做“Ⅹ大总统著书之图 ”！呃 ，呃，真羞煞人！我老辜向来佩服你们贵国，——La belle France ！现在真丢尽了你们的La belle France 的脸了！你们要是送我老辜一个文学博士 ，也还不怎样丢人！可怜的班乐卫先生，他把博士学位送给ⅩⅩⅩ，呃？”
那两位法国客人听了老辜的话都很感觉不安 ，那位《ⅩⅩ报》的主笔尤其脸红耳赤，他不好不替他的政府辩护一两句 。辜鸿铭不等他说完，就打断他的话 ，说：
“Monsieur，你别说了。有一个时候，我老辜得意的时候 ，你每天来看我，我开口说一句话，你就说：‘辜先生，您等一等。’你就连忙摸出铅笔和日记本子来 ，我说一句，你就记一句，一个字也不肯放过 。现在我老辜倒霉了 ，你的影子也不上我门上来了。”那位法国记者，脸上更红了。我们的主人觉得空气太紧张了，只好提议 ，大家散坐。
上文说起辜鸿铭有一次要在法庭控告我，这件事我也应该补叙一笔 。在民国八年八月间，我在《每周评论》第三十三期登出了一段随感录：现在的人看见辜鸿铭拖着辫子 ，谈着“尊王大义 ”，一定以为他是向来顽固的。却不知辜鸿铭当初是最先剪辫子的人；当他壮年时，衙门里拜万寿 ，他坐着不动。后来人家谈革命了，他才把辫子留起来 。辛亥革命时，他的辫子还没有养全，拖带着假发接的辫子 ，坐着马车乱跑，很出风头。这种心理很可研究。当初他是“立异以为高”，如今竟是“久假而不归了” 。
这段话是高而谦先生告诉我的 ，我深信高而谦先生不说谎话，所以我登在报上。那一期出版的一天，是一个星期日 ，我在北京西车站同一个朋友吃晚饭。我忽然看见辜鸿铭先生同七八个人也在那里吃饭 。我身边恰好带了一张《每周评论》，我就走过去，把报送给辜先生看。他看了一遍 ，对我说：
“这段记事不很确实。我告诉你我剪辫子的故事 。我的父亲送我出洋时，把我托给一位苏格兰教士，请他照管我。但他对我说：‘现在我完全托了Ⅹ先生 ，你什么事都应该听他的话。只有两件事我要叮嘱你：第一，你不可进耶稣教；第二，你不可剪辫子。’我到了苏格兰，跟着我的保护人 ，过了许多时 。每天出门，街上小孩子总跟着我叫喊：‘瞧呵，支那人的猪尾巴！’我想着父亲的教训 ，忍着侮辱，终不敢剪辫。那个冬天，我的保护人往伦敦去了 ，有一天晚上我去拜望一个女朋友。这个女朋友很顽皮，她拿起我的辫子来赏玩，说中国人的头发真黑的可爱 。我看她的头发也是浅黑的 ，我就说：
‘你要肯赏收，我就把辫子剪下来送给你。’她笑了，我就借了一把剪子 ，把我的辫子剪下来送了给她。这是我最初剪辫子的故事 。可是拜万寿，我从来没有不拜的。 ”他说时指着同坐的几位老头子，“这几位都是我的老同事。你问他们，我可曾不拜万寿牌位？”我向他道歉 ，仍回到我们的桌上 。我远远的望见他把我的报纸传给同坐客人看。我们吃完了饭，我因为身边只带了这一份报，就走过去向他讨回那张报纸。大概那班客人说了一些挑拨的话 ，辜鸿铭站起来，把那张《每周评论》折成几叠，向衣袋里一插 ，正色对我说：“密斯忒胡，你在报上毁谤了我，你要在报上向我正式道歉 。你若不道歉 ，我要向法庭控告你。”我忍不住笑了。我说：“辜先生，你说的话是开我玩笑，还是恐吓我？你要是恐吓我 ，请你先去告状；我要等法庭判决了才向你正式道歉。 ”我说了，点点头，就走了 。
Mr. Wang Yanzu, the Republic of China, Mr. Wang Yanzu, asked Mon Demiéville, Mon Demiéville, who was eaten in his home, and Mr. Xi, Mr. XX, Mr. Xu, Mr. Xu, Mr. Xu, Mr. Xu, Mr. XX, Mr. Xi, Mr. XX, Mr. X, Mr. XX And me; there are a few, I can't remember. This night's talk, my diary has a simple record. Today I went on the old diary, I remembered the death of Lan Hong Ming. I remembered that the owner of the night was also dead, I remembered the rapid movement of the personnel in the thirteen years. I have a lot of feelings in my heart. So according to my old diary, I use my memory to supplement it, write into this recall.
Yan Hongming came to oppose my claim. Once used in English, I used to refute me in the magazine; once I said in the "weekly comment", he said to me, to pay in court I. However, when he met, he was always very polite to me.
This night, he first came to the Wang family, two French guests arrived; when I came in with him, he said to the two foreign guests: Here Comes my Learned Enemy! Everyone laughed. After the seat, the left side of Dai Mi is Zhong Hong Ming, and the right is Xu Wei. Everyone is drinking and eats, suddenly lives in the back of Dai Ming, saying: "Mr., you have to be careful!" Mr. Dai was shocked and asked him why, he said: "Because you are sitting The middle of the crazy and Xu stun! "Everyone listened, the hood laughed, because everyone knows," Cranky HSÜ "and" Crazv Ku "two nicknames.
For a while, he said to me: "Last year, Zhang Shaoxuan (Zhang Xun) had a birthday, I sent him a pair, Shanglian is 'Trend has no oven cover', what is the following? ? "I as a cluster of the episode, I can't think of a good sentence, I have to ask him," I can't think of it, what are you right? "He said:" Downlink is' 菊 残 霜'. "I also laughed.
He asked again: "Do you know how this is the meaning?" I said, "'Juju is still proud of the frost branch', of course, Zhang Cailai and the braids of your old husband. ' What is the rain cover '? "He said:" It is a great hat in the Qing Dynasty. "We laughed again.
He talked about his most proud of his most proud of the Anfu Congress, he sold the ticket.Things, this story, I listened to him, I have said it several times. Every time he has added a little new trick, this is also a general problem that the elderly said the past.
When An Fu Department was authorized, a new Congress electoral method was promulgated, and some of the senators were required by a Central Committee of Confucianism, professors of the National University, from the university degree, Have the right to vote. So many students have a bachelor's degree in a bachelor's degree, some people come to buy. I don't have to present, and I have to check the vote by writing. It is said that the market price at the time is 200 yuan per diploma. The people who took the diploma took the diploma and changed to make a fortune. For example, the name on a diploma is (Wu Ting), the first time I can report "Wu King", I can report "Ding Wu" for the second time, I will report "Wu Ting", the fourth time can be said to be Jiangsu, Zhejiang "Dinghe" of the sound. In this way, the original price will be 200 yuan, you can sell 800 yuan.
The story of Lan Hongming quoted ticket is very fun. He said: "XXX is moving me to vote, I said: 'My diploma has already lost it', he said: 'Who doesn't recognize your old man? As long as you can vote, you don't have Diploma.' I said: 'People sell two hundred dollars, I will sell five hundred pieces.' He said: "There are two hundred people, you are three hundred. 'I said:' 400, less money, I have to pay now, don't check. 'He wants to pay, I told him to go out. He has to say:' Four hundred dollars according to your elderly. But ask you to present. '"The day before, XXX Sure enough, the four hundred dollar bills and election admission were brought, and I still have to be present tomorrow. When he left, I immediately went out, and the express train in the afternoon gave the Tianjin, and the four hundred dollars were fully served in a girl - you all know that her name is a flower - the body. Two days of work, money is spent, I will come back to Beijing. "
" XXX I heard that I came back, rushing to my house, and I am not confused. I picked up a stick and pointed to the small politician of the study student, saying: 'You rub your eyes, dare to take me to buy me! You also match the letter! You gave me out! Don't go to my door from today! '"That kid saw my stick," said this story, he returned to me: "You know a saying:' Monitoring to worship Confucius, Confucius is scared. ' I will go back and I heard that XXX's hole education will go.Sacrifice, I have compiled a white-minded poem:
The survival of Confucius, Confucius was scared.
Lead will worship Confucius and Confucius should hang.
"Mr. Hu, my veraint poem is good?" For a while, He Hong Ming pointed to the two French guests. He said: "Mr., don't see the monsters, I want to say that your French is really unshare, how to give the reputation of a literary doctor to XXX! X, your" XX News "also logs out XXX photos Come, sitting on a desk, a lot of books on the table, doing the "X big president book"! Hey, hey, ashamed people! I am gone to admire your country, - La Belle France! Now I have lost your La Belle France's face! You want to send me a little writer, and I am not shameful! Poor Banlewei, he gave a doctoral degree to XXXX, ? "
The two French guests listened to the words of Laun, and they were very uneasy. The main pen of the" XX News "is especially red, he doesn't matter to defend one sentence for his government. If he finished, he interrupted his words, he said:
"Monsieur, don't say. At one time, when I am lively, you will see me every day, I speak a sentence. If you say: 'Sir, you will wait,' You just touched the pencil and diary, I said, you will remember, a word is not willing to let go. Now I am alive, Your shadow is not coming on my door. "The French reporter, the face was red. Our owner thinks that the air is too nervous, I have to propose, everyone is sitting.
The above discovered that there was a matter of the court to accuse me at the court. I should also make up. In the eighth year of the Republic of China, I went out of the "weekly comment", I filed a piece: Now people saw that Lang Hongming dragged the braid, talking about "Zun Wang Di", must think that he is stubborn . But I don't know if I have the first person who cuts the scratch; when he is strong, he is in the Tuen Mun, he is still moving. Later, people talked about the revolution, he left the scorpion. When the Revolution of 1911, his braids have not yet been raised, towed with fake hair, sitting on the carriage, very wind. This kind of psychology can be studied. At the beginning, he is "a high thinking is high", which is now "long holiday without returning."
This paragraph is high and peaceful, tell me, I am convinced that Mr. Chen doesn't say lie, so I am on the newspaper. One day of publishing in that stage is a Sunday, I have dinner at the same friend in Beijing West Station. I suddenly saw that Mr. Yan Hongming also dinner there. I took a "weekly comment" around me, I walked over and gave a report to Mr. Yan. He looked again, said to me:
"This note is not very true. I told you that I cut the story. My father sent me to a Scottish priest, please He cares to take me. But he said to me: 'Now I have completely hold Mr. X. You should listen to him. Only two things I want to call you: First, you can't enter Jesus; second, you I can't scissor. 'I went to Scotland, follow my protector, after a lot of time, go out every day, the small child on the street always call me:' Hey, the people of the people! 'I think about my father's lesson, I endured, I didn't dare to cut it. In the winter, my protector went to London. One night I went to hope for a girlfriend. This girlfriend is very naughty, she picks up my braids to enjoy, say Chinese The hair is really dark. I look at her hair is also white, I said:
[You want to buy, I will cut the braids to give you. 'She smiled, I Just borrowed a cutting, cut my braids and sent it to her. This is the story I originally cut. But I won't worship. "He said when he said to the old age. "These are my old colleagues. You ask them, I have never worshiped Wanshou brand?" I apologize to him and still returned to our table. I hope that he will pass my newspaper to the same guest. We have finished eating, because I only brought this newspaper, I walked over to ask him back to the newspaper. Probably the class said some charted words, Yan Hongming stood up, folding the "weekly comment" into a few stacks, one plug in the bag, Positive color to me: "Misus Hut," Misth, you ruin me You have to officially apologize to me in the newspaper. If you don't apologize, I have to pay you to the court. "I can't help but laugh. I said: "Mr. Yan, what do you say is to open me joke, or intimidate me? If you are intimidate, please come first; I wantWhen the court decided to officially apologize to you. "I said, nodded, I left.
He didn't implement his intimidation. After half a year, once he saw me, I said:" Mr. Yan, you tell my own What is it? "He said:" Mr. Hu, I will come to see you; but your article is not written! "
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