老舍散文之到了济南落花飘零

作者:万又康人气:16更新:2021-07-19 11:30:05

(一)
 
  到济南来,这是头一遭。挤出车站 ,汗流如浆,把一点小伤风也治好了,或者说挤跑了;没秩序的社会能治伤风 ,可见事儿没绝对的好坏;那么,“相对论”大概就是这么琢磨出来的吧?
 
      挑选一辆马车。“挑选”在这儿是必要的 。马车确是不少辆,可是稍有聪明的人便会由观察而疑惑 ,到底那里有多少匹马是应当雇八个脚夫抬回家去?有多少匹可以勉强负拉人的责任?自然,刚下火车,决无意去替人家抬马 ,虽然这是善举之一;那么,找能拉车与人的马自是急需。然而这绝对不是容易的事儿,因为:第一 ,那仅有的几匹颇带“马 ”的精神的马 ,已早被手急眼快的主顾雇了去。第二,那些“略”带“马气”的马,本来可以将就 ,那怕是只请他拉着行李——天下还有比“行李 ”这个字再不顺耳,不得人心,惹人头皮疼的?而我和赶车的在辕子两边担任扶持 ,指导,劝告,鼓励 ,(如还不走)拳打脚踢之责呢 。这凭良心说,大概不能不算善于应付环境,具有东方文化的妙处吧?
 
      可是 ,“马”的问题刚要解决,“车”的问题早又来到:即使马能走三里五里,坚持到底不摔跟头;或者不幸跌了一交 ,而能爬起来再接再励;那车 ,那车,那车,是否能装着行李而车底儿不哗啦啦掉下去呢?又一个问题 ,确乎成问题!假使走到中途,车底哗啦啦,还是我扛着行李(赶车的当然不负这个责任) ,在马旁同行呢?还是叫马背着行李,我再背着马呢?自然是,三人行必有我师 ,陪着御者与马走上一程,也是有趣的事;可是,花了钱雇车 ,而自扛行李,单为证明“三人行必有我师 ”,是否有点发疯?
 
      至于马背行李 ,我再负马 ,事属非常,颇有古代故事中巨人的风度,是!可有一层 ,我要是被压而死,那马是否能把行李送到学校去?我不算什么,行李是不能随便掉失的!不为行李 ,起初又何必雇车呢?小资产阶级的逻辑,不错;但到底是逻辑呀!第三,别看马与车各有问题 ,马与车合起来而成的“马车”是整个的问题,敢情还有惊人的问题呢——车价。一开首我便得罪了一位赶车的,我正在向那些马国之鬼 ,和那堆车之骨骼发呆之际,我的行李突然被一位御者抢去了。我并没生气,反倒感谢他的热心张罗 。
 
      当他把行李往车上一放的时候 ,一点不冤人 ,我确乎听见哗啦一声响,确乎看见连车带马向左右摇动者三次,向前后进退者三次。“行啊?”我低声的问御者。“行? ”他十足的瞪了我一眼 。“行?从济南走到德国去都行!”我不好意思再怀疑他 ,只好以他的话作我的信仰;心里想:“有信仰便什么也不怕!”为平他的气,赶快问:“到——大学,多少钱? ”他说了一个数儿。我心乎气和的说:“我并不是要买贵马与尊车。 ”心里还想:“假如弄这么一份财产 ,将来不幸死了,遗嘱上给谁承受呢?”
 
      正在这么想,也不知怎的 ,我的行李好象被魔鬼附体,全由车中飞出来了 。再一看,那怒气冲天的御者一扬鞭 ,那瘦病之马一掀后蹄,便轧着我的皮箱跑过去 。皮箱一点也没坏,只是上边落着一小块车轮上的胶皮;为避免麻烦 ,我也没敢叫回御者告诉他 ,万一他叫“我”赔偿呢!同时,心中颇不自在,怨自己“以貌取马 ” ,那知人家居然能掀起后蹄而跑数步之遥呢。
 
  幸而××来了,带来一辆马车。这辆车和车站上的那些差不多 。马是白色的,虽然事实上并不见得真白 ,可是用“白马之白”的抽象观念想起来,到底不是黑的,黄的 ,更不能说一定准是灰色的。马的身上不见得肥,因此也很老实。缰,鞍 ,肚带,处处有麻绳帮忙维系,更显出马之稳练驯良 。车是黑色的 ,配起白马 ,本应黑白分明,相得益彰;可是不知济南的太阳光为何这等特别,叫黑白的相配 ,更显得暗淡灰丧。
 
  行李,××和我,全上了车。赶车的把鞭儿一扬 ,吆喝了一声,车没有动 。我心里说:“马大概是睡着了。马是人们最好的朋友,多少带点哲学性 ,睡一会儿是常有的事。”赶车的又喊了一声,车微动 。只动了一动,就又停住;而那匹马确是走出好几步远。赶车的不喊了 ,反把马拉回来。他好象老太婆缝补袜子似的,在马的周身上下细腻而安稳的找那些麻绳的接头,慢慢的一个一个的接好 ,大概有三十多分钟吧 ,马与车又发生关系 。又是一声喊,这回马是毫无可疑的拉着车走了 。倒叫我怀疑:马能拉着车走,是否一个奇迹呢?
 
  一路之上 ,总算顺当。左轮的皮带掉了两次,随掉随安上,少费些时间 ,无关重要。马打了三个前失,把我的鼻子碰在车窗上一次,好在没受伤 。跟××顶了两回牛儿 ,因为我们俩是对面坐着的,可是顶牛儿更显着亲热;设若没有这个机会,两个三四十的老小伙子 ,又焉肯脑门顶脑门的玩耍呢。因此,到了大学的时候,我摹仿着西洋少女 ,在瘦马脸上吻了一下 ,表示感谢他叫我们得以顶牛的善意。
 
(二)
 
  上次谈到济南的马车,现在该谈洋车 。
 
  济南的洋车并没有什么特异的地方。坐在洋车上的味道可确是与众不同。要领略这个味道,顶好先检看济南的道路一番;不然 ,屈骂了车夫,或诬蔑济南洋车构造不良,都不足使人心服 。
 
  检看道路的时候 ,请注意,要先看胡同里的;西门外确有宽而平的马路一条,但不能算作国粹。假如这检查的工作是在夜里 ,请别忘了拿个灯笼,踏一脚黑泥事小,把脚腕拐折至少也不甚舒服。 #p#分页标题#e#
 
  胡同中的路 ,差不多是中间垫石,两旁铺土的 。土,在一个中国城市里 ,自然是黑而细腻 ,晴日飞扬,阴雨和泥的,没什么奇怪。提起那些石块 ,只好说一言难尽吧。假如你是个地质学家,你不难想到:这些石是否古代地层变动之时,整批的由地下翻上来 ,直至今日,始终原封没动;不然,怎能那样不平呢?但是 ,你若是个考古家,当然张开大嘴哈哈笑,济南真会保存古物哇!看 ,看哪一块石头没有多少年的历史!社会上一切都变了,只有你们这群老石还在这儿镇压着济南的风水!
 
  浪漫派的文人也一定喜爱这些石路,因为块块石头带着慷慨不平的气味 ,且满有幽默 。假如第一块屈了你的脚尖 ,哼,刚一迈步,第二块便会咬住你的脚后跟 。左脚不幸被石洼囚住 ,留神吧,右脚会紧跟着滑溜出多远,早有一块中间隆起 ,稜而腻滑的等着你呢。这样,左右前后,处处是埋伏 ,有变化;假如那位浪漫派写家走过一程,要是幸而不晕过去,一定会得到不少写传奇的启示。
 
  无论是谁 ,请不要穿新鞋 。鞋坚固呢,脚必磨破。脚结实呢,鞋上必来个窟窿。二者必居其一 。那些小脚姑娘太太们 ,怎能不一步一跌 ,真使人糊涂而惊异!
 
  在这种路上坐汽车,咱没这经验,不能说是舒服与否。只看见过汽车中的人们 ,接二连三的往前蹿,颇似练习三级跳远。推小车子也没有经验,只能理想到:设若我去推一回 ,我敢保险,不是我——多半是我——就是小车子,一定有一个碎了的 。
 
  洋车 ,咱坐过。从一上车说吧。车夫拿起“把 ”来,也许是往前走,也许是往后退 ,那全凭石头叫他怎样他便得怎样 。济南的车夫是没有自由意志的。石头有时一高兴,也许叫左轮活动,而把右轮抓住不放;这样 ,满有把坐车的翻到下面去 ,而叫车坐一会儿人的希望。
 
  坐车的姿势也请留心研究一番 。你要是充正气君子,挺着脖子正着身,好啦:为维持脖子的挺立 ,下车以后,你不变成歪脖儿柳就算万幸 。你越往直里挺,它们越左右的筛摇;济南的石路专爱打倒挺脖子 ,显正气的人们!反之,你要是缩着脖子,懈松着劲儿 ,请要留神,车子忽高忽低之际,你也许有鬼神暗佑还在车上 ,也许完全摇出车外,脸与道旁黑土相吻。从经验中看,最好的办法是不挺不缩 ,带着弹性。象百码决赛预备好 ,专候枪声时的态度,最为相宜 。一点不松懈,一点不忽略 ,随高就高,随低就低,车左亦左 ,车右亦右,车起须如据鞍而立,车落应如鲤鱼入水。这样 ,虽然麻烦一些,可是实在安全,而且练习惯了 ,以后可以不晕船。
 
  坐车的时间也大有研究的必要,最适宜坐车的时候是犯肠胃闭塞病之际 。不用吃泄药,只须在饭前 ,喝点开水 ,去坐半小时上下的洋车,其效如神。饭后坐车是最冒险的事,接连坐过三天 ,设若不生胃病,也得长盲肠炎。要是胃口象林黛玉那么弱的人,以完全不坐车为是 ,因没有一个时间是相宜的 。
 
  末了,人们都说济南洋车的价钱太贵,动不动就是两三毛钱。但是 ,假如你自己去在这种石路上拉车,给你五块大洋,你干得了干不了?
 
(三)
 
  由前两段看来 ,好象我不大喜欢济南似的。不,不,有大不然者!有幽默的人爱“看” ,看了 ,能不发笑吗?天下可有几件事,几件东西,叫你看完而不发笑的?不信 ,闭上一只眼,看你自己的鼻子,你不笑才怪;先不用说别的 。有的人看什么也不笑 ,也对呀,喜悲剧的人不替古人落泪不痛快,因为他好“觉”;设身处地的那么一“觉 ” ,世界上的事儿便少有不叫泪腺要动作动作的。嗅,原来如此!
 
  济南有许多好的事儿,随便说几种吧:葱好 ,这是公认的吧,不是我造谣生事。听说,犹太人少有得肺病的 ,因为吃鱼吃的的;山东人是不是因为多嚼大葱而不患肺病呢?这倒值得调查一下 ,好叫吃完葱的士女不必说话怪含羞的用手掩着嘴:假如调查结果真是山西河南广东因肺病而死的比山东多着七八十来个(一年多七八十,一万年要多若干?),而其主因确是因为口中的葱味使肺病菌倒退四十里 。
 
      在小曲儿里 ,时常用葱尖比美妇人的手指,这自然是春葱,决不会是山东的老葱 ,设若美妇人的十指都和老葱一般儿粗(您晓得山东老葱的直径是多少寸),一旦妇女革命,打倒男人 ,一个嘴巴子还不把男人的半个脸打飞!这决不是济南的老葱不美,不是 。葱花自然没有什么美丽,葱叶也比不上蒲时那样挺秀 ,竹叶那样清劲,连蒜叶也比不上,因为蒜叶至少可以假充水仙。不要花 ,不看叶 ,单看葱白儿,你便觉得葱的伟丽了。看运动家,别看他或她的脸 ,要先看那两条完美的腿,看葱亦然 。(运动家注意。这里一点污辱的意思没有;我自己的腿比蒜苗还细,焉敢攀高比诸葱哉!)
 
      济南的葱白起码有三尺来长吧:粗呢 ,总比我的手腕粗着一两圈儿——有愿看我的手腕者,请纳参观费大洋二角。这还不算什么,最美是那个晶亮 ,含着水,细润,纯洁的白颜色 。这个纯洁的白色好象只有看见过古代希腊女神的乳房者才能明白其中的奥妙 ,鲜,白,带着滋养生命的乳浆!这个白色叫你舍不得吃它 ,而拿在手中颠着 ,赞叹着,好象对于宇宙的伟大有所领悟。由不得把它一层层的剥开,每一层落下来 ,都好似油酥饼的折叠;这个油酥饼可不是“人”手烙成的。一层层上的长直纹儿,一丝不乱的,比画图用的白绢还美丽 。看见这些纹儿 ,再看看馍馍,你非多吃半斤馍馍不可。人们常说——带着讽刺的意味——山东人吃的多,是不知葱之美者也!
 
  反对吃葱的人们总是说:葱虽好 ,可是味道有不得人心之处。其实这是一面之词,假若大家都吃葱,而且时常开个“吃葱竞赛会” ,第一名赠以重二十斤金杯一个,你看还敢有人反对否!
 
  记得,在新加坡的时候 ,街上有卖柘莲者 ,味臭无比,可是土人和华人久住南洋者都嗜之若命 。并且听说,英国维克陶利亚女皇吃过一切果品 ,只是没有尝过拓莲,引为憾事。济南的葱,老实的讲 ,实在没有奇怪味道,而且确是甜津津的。假如你不信呢,吃一棵尝尝 。

英译版本:

(1)

To Jinan, this is a head. Extruded the station, sweat, as pulling, put a little hurt, or squeezed; no order society can cure the wind, it can be seen that things are not absolutely bad; then, "relativism" is probably so ponder Come out?

Pick a carriage. "Pick" is necessary here. The carriage is really a lot, but a slightly smart person will be confused by observation. How many horses do it should be hired to take eight husbands? How many matters can be reluctant to pull people? Natural, just got off the train, there is no intention to lift the horse for others, although this is one of the good elections; then, it is urgent to find a car with people. However, this is definitely not easy, because: First, only a few spiritual horses with "Ma" have been hired by the homework. Second, those who "" "belt" horses "can be, that is, I only ask him to pull the baggage - the world is more than" luggage ", I don't want to be, I can't help it. of? And I and the car is responsible for being supported, guidance, advisory, encouragement, (such as still not going) to kick. This is a conscience, it is probably not good at dealing with the environment, is there oriental culture?

However, the problem of "horse" just resolved, "car" problem is coming again: even if Horse can walk three miles, insist that he will not fall to his head; or unfortunately fall, Climb up and then pick it up; the car, the car, the car, is it able to carry your luggage and can't pull it? Another problem, nothing to do! If you go to the middle, the bottom of the car is, or I am carrying baggage (the car is of course not negative), is it in the horse? Still calling the horse, carrying a baggage, I will carry the horse again? Naturally, the three people must have my teacher, accompany the miller and the horse, it is also a fun thing; but spend money, and the baggage, the "three people must have my teacher" Is it a bit crazy?

As for the horseback baggage, I will be negative, the matter is very, it is quite a giant's style in ancient story, yes! Can have a layer, if I am pressed, can the horse send the baggage to the school? I am not counting, my luggage can't be lost casually! Not for the baggage, why bother to hire a car at first? Small bourgeois logic, not bad; butThe bottom is logical! Third, don't look at the horses and cars, the "carriage" of the horse and the car is the whole problem, and there is also an amazing problem - the price of the car. When I opened the first, I was sinned. I was in the ghost of the horse, and my luggage suddenly grabbed by an arms. I am not angry, thank you for your enthusiastic Zhang Luo.

When he put the baggage, he didn't care, I didn't hear a sound, I really saw that the champion of the louder horses left and right three times, and the front and rear retreats three times. "Row?" I whispered. "Row?" He glanced at me. "Row? From Jinan to Germany!" I am embarrassed to doubt him, I have to make my beliefs in his words; I think: "There is a belief that I am not afraid!" For his gas, hurry to ask: "To - university, how much?" He said a few. I said that I said: "I don't want to buy your horses and Zun cars." I still think: "If you get such a property, you will be unfortunate in the future, who is you withdrawn?"

I think so, I don't know, my luggage is like being attached to the devil, and I fly all in the car. At another look, the anger of the anger of the rush, the whip, the slimming horse, and then rolled my luggage to run over. The suitcase is not bad, but the rubber is falling on a small wheel; in order to avoid trouble, I didn't dare to call back to tell him, in case his is "I" compensation! At the same time, the heart is quite uncomfortable, resentful "take the horse", knowing that people can actually take a step away from the way.

Fortunately, × × came, bringing a carriage. These cars and those on the station are similar. The horse is white, although it is really unchaul, but I think of the abstract concept of "White Horse", it is not black, yellow, and it can't be said to be gray. The horse's body is not necessarily fat, so it is very honest. , Saddle, belly, there is a hemp rope to help wear, and there is more stable treasure. The car is black, with white horses, this should be black and white, it is completed; but I don't know why Jinan's sun light is such specialty, called black and white, more likely.
Luggage, × × and me, I have gone around the car. The hurry was rushed, and it was drunk, and the car did not move. I said in my heart: "Ma DaI fell asleep. Ma is the best friend of people, how many philosophy, is a common thing to sleep for a while. "The car shouted again, the car was moving. I only stopped it, I stopped again; and the horse was a few steps away. The car didn't shout, and the horse was coming back. He seems to the old woman Sewing socks seems to be more tired and stable on the week of the horse, and slowly take a one in one, about more than 30 minutes, the horse and the car have a relationship. It is a shout, This horses are unusual to pull the car. Pouring me to doubt: Ma Can pulls the car, is there a miracle?

All the way, the last side of the revolver is two Subtail, take a little more, some time, have nothing to do. The horse has played three lost, put my nose on the window, so I didn't get hurt. I have two times with × × two times. Because we are sitting opposite, but the top of the cattle is more prominent; if there is no chance, two three or forty old bans, and the top of the brain door. Therefore, when I arrived at the University, I imitate Western girl, kissed on the thin horse face, thank you for making us good luck.

(2)

Talking about Jinan's carriage, now I will talk about foreign cars

Jinan's foreign cars do not have a specific place. The taste of sitting on the other cars is different. I have to experience this taste, and I will first check the road of Jinan; otherwise, 骂The driver, or a bad Jinan foreign car construction, it is not enough to make people's minds.

When checking to the road, please pay attention, you must first look at the alley; the West Gate has a wide and flat road, but It is not possible to make a national quintessence. If this examination work is in the night, please don't forget to take a lantern, take a small foot black and slime, and turn the foot wrist. # P # page title # e #

Along the road, the road is almost the middle pad stone, the two sides are paved. Soil, in a Chinese city, natural is black and delicate, sunny, rainy and mud, there is no strange. I mention those stone blocks , I have to say that it is difficult. If you are a geologist, you can't think of it: When these stones have changed, the whole batch is turned over underground, until today, it has always been blocked; otherwise, how can it be inevitable? But, if you are an archeologyHome, of course, open the big mouth, Jaha, Jinan really saves the ancients! Look, see which stone doesn't have many years of history! Everything in society has changed, only your old stone is still craving here in Jinan Feng Shui!

The literati of the romanticist must also love these stone roads, because the block stone has a generous odor, and has a humor. If the first block has flexed your feet, hey, just step by step, the second piece will bite your feet after heel. The left foot is unfortunately being imprisoned by the stone, keeps the god, how far is the right foot, and there is a middle ridge, and it is greasy waiting for you. In this way, the left and right are ambush, there is a changing; if the romantic sect is a way, if you are fortunate, you will be able to get a lot of legendary revelations.
No matter who, please don't wear new shoes. The shoes are strong, the feet must be broken. The feet are solid, there will be a hole in the shoes. The two must be one. Those small feet girls, how can I fall, I really can't be confused!

sitting on this road, there is no such experience, can't be said to be comfortable. I only saw people in the car, and I was in front of the second, I was quite practiced to practice the three-level jump. There is no experience in pushing a small car, I can only think: if I go to push it, I dare to insurance, not me - mostly me - it is a small car, there must be a broken.

Ocean truck, I have sat. Say from one bus. The driver picked up "put", maybe it's going forward, maybe it's going back, how did he make him with a stone? Jinan's driver is no free will. Stone is sometimes happy, maybe called revolving activities, and grab the right wheel and don't put it; this, all the top of the car is going down, and the car is sitting for a while.

Please pay attention to study by the posture of the car. If you are angry with anger, you are working hard, ok: To maintain your neck, get off, you don't turn into a neck willow will have a fortune. You are in straight, the longer the more about the screen; Jinan's stone road specializes in defeating the neck, the people who are very angry! On the other hand, if you shrink your neck, calm down, please pay attention, the car is high, you may have a ghost and goddess, you can still sway out of the car, may have completely shake the car, face and the roadside kiss. From the experience, the best way is not quite unscrupulous and flexible. As a hundred code finals ready, specialThe attitude towards the sound of guns is the most appropriate. Little is not loose, not ignored, with the high, low, the car left is also left, the car right is also right, the car must be standing according to the saddle, the car should be in the water. In this way, although it is trouble, it is safe, and it is very common, it can be alone in the future.

The time takes the time is also necessary, and it is most suitable to take the gas stomach. Don't eat venting medicine, you only need to drink some water before meals, take a half-hour front, which is like God. After the meal is the most adventive thing, I have been sitting three days, and if I don't have a stomach, I have to have a long-bream. If the appetite is like Lin Daiyu, someone is not a car, because there is no time, it is appropriate.

At the end, people say that the price of Jinan foreign cars is too expensive, and it is two or three cents. However, if you go to this stone road, give you five oceans, you can't do it?
(3)

From the first two paragraphs, it seems that I don't really like Jinan. No, no, there is something! Have humorous people love "see", see, can you laugh? There are a few things in the world, a few things, telling you to read and not laugh? Do not believe, close one eye, see your own nose, you don't laugh; don't say anything else. Some people don't laugh, it's right, the people who are happy are not painful for the ancients, because he is so "feeling"; if you feel like it, the world is less than The tears should be moved. Sniff, the original!

Jinan has a lot of good things, just say a few kinds: onion, this is recognized, not what I am a lot of things. I heard that the Jews have less lung disease because they eat fish and eat; is the Shandong people not chewing the green onions without a lung disease? This is worth investigating, so I don't have to talk to the blamed woman who is shy. If the results of the investigation are really more than 780% of Shandong, Shanxi Province, Due to the Pulmonary Disease (more than a year) Seven eighty, more than 10,000 years?), And its main cause is indeed because the onion in the mouth makes the lung disease fall back to 40 miles.

In the small song, often use the piphi of the pens to the beautiful woman, this is naturally a spring onion, and it will never be the old onions in Shandong. If the ten fingers of the beautiful woman are generally crude, You know that the diameter of Shandong's old onions isHow many inch), once the woman revolution, the man, a man, there is no half of the man to fight the man! This is something that Jinan's little onions is not beautiful, not. There is no beauty in onion, and the onion leaves are quite like when it is not on the pet. Don't spend, don't look at the leaves, look at the onion, you feel the gure of onions. Look at the sportsman, don't look at him or her face, you must first see the two perfect legs, look at the onion. (At the somewhere, the meaning of insults here is not; my own legs are more thin than the garlic, dare to climb more than the onion!)

Jinan's onion is at least three feet: thick, total Rough than my wrist - I wish to see my wrist, please visit the foreigner of the Ocean. It's nothing, the most beautiful is the cloud, including water, fine, pure white color. This pure white seems to only see the breastists who have seen ancient Greek goddess to understand the mystery, fresh, white, with a lotus of life! This white calls you must not eat it, and take it in your hands, admire, it seems that it is the greatness of the universe. From the stripping of it, it is not enough to fall, all like the folding of the pasta; this oleasia is not a "people" hand. The long straight grain on a layer, a white silk is still beautiful than the picture. See these patches, look at it, you don't have more half a catty. People often say - with ironic meaning - Shandong people eat more, is the beauty of Ideat!

People who oppose the onions are always said: Although the onions is good, it is a taste. In fact, this is the word, if everyone eats onions, and often opens a "onion competition", the first place gives a 20 pound of gold cup, you can see if someone is against!

Remember, in Singapore, there is a lot of money on the street, and the taste is incomparable, but the natives and Chinese have lived in the south of the people. And I heard that the Queen of the UK Victoria has eaten all fruits, but they have not tasted Tuolian. Jinan's onion, honest, there is no strange taste, and it is indeed sweet. If you don't believe it, eat a taste.

Copyright jmser.net 鸡毛书 Rights Reserved.